Illuminate

Chapter 33- Eva

7:00 AM

I woke up in my bed, horrified knowing what the day was going to bring. I looked across my room, seeing the packed suitcases sitting by the door. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. I wanted to clear my head a little bit.

I changed into a hoodie and leggings, hoping it would help me feel protected. I scooped my hair up into a bun and went slowly down the stairs. Everyone else was asleep, besides my parents. As I trudged into the kitchen, my mom was filling a bowl with cereal as my dad poured some piping hot coffee into a travel mug. 

"Good morning, sunshine," my mom said, sliding the bowl of cereal in front me. I could tell she was trying to distract me from everything.

"Morning," I replied, accepting the bowl and digging in.

"How are you feeling?" my dad asked, sitting down next to me.

"Okay," I replied honestly. "I have no idea what to expect."

"Listen, if today doesn't give you the closure you need, we're going to push back you going to stay with Josh for a few days, okay? We don't want you to get even more hurt and then just leave," my mom explained.

"I appreciate the offer, but I'm going to be fine," I said, not looking up from my cereal.

"Eva," my dad said, putting his hand on mine. "This isn't going to be an option." I stayed silent. Everything inside me just felt numb.

"It's not too late to back out on seeing him, sweetheart," my mom said.

"I want to. I'm sorry, I think I'm just nervous. The last time I saw him, I, well, you know," I said.

"Look, I'm going to be there the whole time and the second you're done, you tell me," he said.

"We love you," my mom added, hugging me.

"I love you guys too," I said, sinking into her arms. 

"Here, take this, you'll probably be hungry by the time it's over" my mom offered after we released each other, handing me a brown paper bag. 

"Thanks, we should probably go," I said, looking up at the clock, giving her one last hug.

"Be safe okay," she told Dad, hugging him.

"We will be. Let's go," he said, looking at me.  We got into the car and he tried to make small talk but gave up after a little while. It was like a 40-minute drive to the juvenile hall and we were meeting him at 8:15. The drive seemed eternal and my hands were clammy.

"Look, Eva, we do have to talk about a few things. I don't want you telling Blake about you going away or anything. Nothing personal or new," he explained.

"Okay. Can I tell him I'm struggling a little?" I asked.

"If the situation seems right, sure. He can know what he did to you caused, it might even be beneficial,"  he agreed. 

"I don't know. He was manipulating me the whole time so I really don't know what he's actually like," I told him. I could tell he didn't know what to say next, so he just put his hand on my shoulder.

"It's going to be okay," he promised and I nodded. As Dad turned in, I saw the sign. Chicago Juvenile Detention Center. My heart sank and we pulled into the visitor parking. My hands were shaking and I wasn't so sure if this was a good idea anymore.

"Alright, ready?" Dad asked, turning off the car and I nodded, staring forward. "Eva," he started.

"I'm fine," I said, getting out of the car and starting towards the entrance. As we entered, we went up the check-in desk. A lady with a slicked-back bun and prison guard uniform was staring at her computer.