Fallin' All In Love

Chapter 4

Shawn's pov

I've been told my whole life that love is the most beautiful thing ever. It is something that is so sacred and once you fall for it there's no going back. We've all been told that and I don't precisely mean that we've been told that by our parents or maybe our family, no what I'm saying is that's how the whole world thinks.

I mean everyone has their different opinions on love. Some people fall for the wrong person or maybe not even that, maybe their just not meant to be but they've already fallen. And it's hard to get back to normal when that happens.

Some people are lucky enough to fall in love with someone and them living happily ever after with that person. Get married,have kids,watch their kids grow old,watch their kids have kids of their own.

And that's exactly what I want well I used to think that way. I've always wanted to fall in love with someone who'd love me the same way I'd love them. I've always wanted a girl who is funny, beautiful and I'm not only talking about external beauty but the one within. And if she's gorgeous from the outside then that's a bonus. Someone that's kind but not the type of kind that would let people take advantage of you.

Someone that is talented, and talented can mean lots of things, everyone is talented and unique in their own way.
I don't know why but I've always wanted to date someone who dances, I find that very attractive and cute at the same time.

Someone who wants kids, I've always wanted kids, I love kids so much, I think they're the most precious and mischievous and cute. I'd say I'm good with kids, all the kids I've been around with always loved me. Maybe there's something about me that attracts them.
So definitely someone who loves kids and are good with them. We'd make a perfect family.

Someone who sings would definitely be convenient. I love singing,it's one of my favorite things to do, I love music with a passion. Music definitely helped me a lot throughout my life. It has always been a coping mechanism of mine. So if i end up with someone who sings and loves music as much as I do then it would be the most magical thing. We'd always be having karaoke nights...with our kids too if we ever were to have them.

And honestly just someone who is willing to love me, make time for our relationship and someone who is willing to always talk things through when it gets rough. I'd really love that. Sadly my hopes for someone like that has really descended.

My last relationship was just fucked up man. In this situation the girl that I was with wasn't really willing to commit to our relationship and didn't respect me as a human being nor as their partner.

I was in love with her, I fell for her kindness, love, her mindset and she was very beautiful, but I guess I was just blindsided by love. You know love is the scariest thing ever. Once you fall for someone you can easily be fooled into thinking they're the best that has ever happened to you. When sometimes sadly they're not. In some situations they can fool you into thinking they're someone they're not.

Well I was fooled, i don't know sometimes I like to think that she really did love me and cared for me but she threw that all to waste and I don't think I love her still. I actually don't, I don't want to love her. What she did to me was just wrong, it shouldn't be done to anyone. I've always been against this action and disgusted by people who do this.

People who cheat on their significant other are messed up. Why do they do it, before they do don't they think about their loss. I mean I am aware that sometimes people cheat because the person they're currently with doesn't give them much attention and they do it to feel loved by someone. Because they crave it because of their partner's lack of interest. But at the end of the day it's still wrong and there's no excuse for it.

I honestly have no idea why she did it, she didn't really have a reason as to why she did it. Honestly she said sorry but I honestly didn't feel that she felt guilty. She didn't show any sign of remorse whatsoever. I just couldn't do it and left her, I honestly don't doubt the fact that she might still be fucking the dude she cheated on me with.

I honestly don't care anymore, she doesn't,why should I. Anyways fuck her,I'm moving on, I already did. I now also have trust issues because of that. I don't give in that easily. It's hard for me to trust someone, relationship wise. I mean you never know I could end up meeting someone that is so amazing it'll change my perspective on life and love itself. But I doubt that'll happen, at least anytime soon.