Before You Leave

12. Dance With Whoever I Want To

I didn't stay sober...

Gideon was awkwardly standing in the corner the whole time, and I drank a lot of drinks that Aria gave me.

I talked with her and Allison near the dance floor. Valarie was in the grind circle, and currently rubbing her ass against a really small red head with short hair.

I raised my eyebrows. I've never saw a grind circle before.

"And the headmasters won't hear this?" I yell to them over the loud music.

They shake their heads in unison. "No," Allison says back. "If there was any chance of that, I wouldn't be here."

A hand touched my elbow and I looked up to find Samuel, smiling down at me. "Do you want to dance?" He yells.

"No," someone says. I don't have to turn around to know that it's Gideon now beside me.

I glare at him. "That's not your business," I tell him. I turn back to Samuel. "I'd love to—"

"No," Gideon repeats, putting his hand on my other elbow.

I clench my jaw as I look up at him. "No? You don't make my decisions, kiss ass." I scowl.

"You're drunk, JJ," he says. "I don't want you to do something stupid."

"Let me do what I want, Gideon."

"No. Let's go back—"

"No," I say firmly, yanking my elbow from his hand, glaring at him again. "You're not my babysitter, remember?" I ask, eyes blazing with fury. "I will do what I want, and I will dance with whoever I want to."

His jaw tightens, but doesn't say anything more as I slide my hand through Samuel's and lead him to the dance area.

We didn't join the grind circle thankfully, but we did start dancing wildly.

My body was pressed against his from the tight fit of everyone dancing around us.

We bounced up and down to the beat, shaking our heads to the loud melody.

Gideon made me so angry that I wanted to do this. Samuel was nice and all, but I didn't like him in this way. But, I damn well made him think I did as I wrapped my arms around his neck as we danced.

Dancing took a lot of energy out of me. After the third song, I was sweating and already over this. I sat my hand on his shoulder, patting it a few times before moving to walk away, but his hand catches my forearm.

"You wanna get out of here for a little bit?" He asks.

I arch my eyebrow. "Is that a pick up line?" I deadpan.

He rolls his eyes. "Not like that."

I sigh. "Fine."

Gideon sighed as he went over to us. Apparently, he heard.

"JJ, no. Stop. This is the old you. The you before I knew you. You two weeks ago."

I glare at him. "I'm the same person I was two weeks ago, Gideon. Not even you can tame me," I say with so much distaste, even I offend myself.

Samuel starts walking into the woods, and hesitantly I follow him.

Looking at Samuel now, I think he was about 5'8. He wasn't very tall, and neither was I so I don't have to look up a lot.

"I heard about your mom," he says. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I tell him, playing with my hands as my boots crunched the leaves on the grass. I made my peace with part of it. I was still upset, yes, but Gideon helped me see reason. "Thank you."

He stops at a big tree stump, sitting down on it.

I raise an eyebrow.

"I used to come here a lot," he says. "I don't really anymore."

"What did you come here for?" I ask, sitting down next to him.

He brushes a strand of his long black hair behind an ear. "When I got here last year, I cried a lot. I was scared of not making friends and all that bullshit." He sighs. "It was my happy place."

I had a place like that last year. I went there alone, and I never showed anyone. Not even Cameron.

"You look just... stunning tonight," he says, his voice dropping to a husky whisper as he caressed my cheek. It was soft and light, and I blinked at the contact.

"Thanks," I say dryly, turning my head to the trees.

But his hand grips my chin before turning my head and cherishing his lips to mine.

I'm too stunned to even respond to it as they moved on mine.

Not getting the hint, they push to open my mouth with his tongue. I push at his chest, hitting him away from me and standing up.

"You're just like every other asshole aren't you?" I yell at him, swiping at my mouth and spitting on the ground.

He stood up too, panic in his eyes. "I thought you liked me—"

"Like you?" I say, exasperated. "Samuel, I barley know you!"

"You barely know Gideon," he says, just adding to my confusion. "And you look at him like he's everything."

"No," I say quietly. "I don't."

"If he wasn't in the picture," he continues, "would-would I even have—"

"A chance?" I finish for him. I see him nod as I reply with, "At sex, yes. Anything more? Hell no." I set my jaw as I pushed past him, stalking back to the party.

He raced after me. "I'm sorry," he says. "Just I like you and I can't handle the way you look at him—"

"I look at him like I can't stand him," I say, interrupting him, twirling around and stopping my walking. "I look at him like I hate that he has hope in me. That he fights for me."

Samuel's silent.

"I hate that he doesn't hate me," I tell him, my hands fumbling with my hair.

Hell, I don't even hate him. I glare at Samuel before going back to the party.

"I'm going back," I tell Aria in a rush, tipping back a red cup before flinging it in the trees and stalking back towards the apartments.

She doesn't say anything, but Gideon does.

"Hey, I'll walk you back."

I hold up a hand. "Stay here," I tell him. "I'll see you later," I mumble, rushing back to the apartments.

I was starting to not hate Gideon and I hated it.

I also hated how I couldn't let that happen. How I wouldn't. How if I did, I'd just leave again. If I did, it would hurt to see him go off somewhere or hang out with his friends.