Before You Leave

21. I'm Sorry

A week later, nothing major happened. Camryn didn't talk to me much after she heard I was with Gideon, and Gideon our in an effort to become friends with Aria.

I didn't get into trouble and I informed Ms. Birchwood that I would join the dance team, which started in a month or so. Dance and ice skating were alike, so it wouldn't be too hard to pick up some moves.

I was eating outside in the quad with Gideon and Aria as I dipped my fry in ketchup. The sun felt nice, but a cold breeze was filling the air.

Aria and I were arguing about who was better— Chandler or Joey.

"Chandler!" I yelled back at her. "Funny, innocent, and sarcastic."

"But Joey is so much more," she counters. Gideon raised an eyebrow as he ate a carrot and looked in between us, ready for the conversation to end. "He's kind and a great friend."

"So? He has no commitments," I respond, my mouth full of fries.

"And Chandler does?"

"Monica!"

She levels me with a flat look. "He almost ran out on their wedding."

"B—"

Our conversation was interrupted by a familiar voice behind me. "Can I speak to you?"

I sighed as I looked up into the eyes of Samuel. "Why?"

"Please," he said, his voice urgent.

I groaned as I got up. Gideon already looked like he was about to protest, but I shook my head at him. "It's fine. I'll be back in five."

There was nothing he could say about that. He sighed softly and looked down at the red table.

I turned to Samuel, and we only walked a few steps away from Aria and Gideon so they were out of earshot. I could feel Gideon watching us, however, by the tingling sensation on my back.

"I'm really sorry about what I said," he says. My eyes went to the wrap on his nose.

"Everyone still thinks I'm a whore you know," I tell him, crossing my arms in Gideon's hoodie as I glared.

He ran a hand through his long hair. "Look, I'm sorry, okay?"

"Why'd you do it, Samuel?" I ask, shrugging my shoulders. "What did I do to you? Was it kissing you? Leading you on? I know I kissed you, but I've told you before I didn't want to be with you like that."

He sighed deeply. "I was really into you, JJ. And the way you looked at Gideon was the way I wanted you to look at me."

I scoffed. Was he really expecting me to believe he did all this just because he was attracted to me?

"I'm being serious," Samuel says. "When you ran away after we kissed," he saw my wince and rephrased his thought, "after I kissed you, I knew you weren't ever going to pick me. And I got a little petty and I lied." He curses himself. "I'm 16, JJ."

I scowled. "Your age isn't an excuse for your behavior." I looked down at my watch. "I gotta go, Samuel."

As I turned, he asked quietly, "Will you ever forgive me?"

I turned my head to see him. "It's funny you think I care enough about you to forgive anything you have ever done to me."