Before You Leave

19. But You Would Miss Him More

My dreams were never this creative. I was in a field of orange's and yellows, leaves on the ground. They had a satisfying crunch as I sat down on the fall-colored ground.

Gideon was next to me, playing with my hair. It was my turn to look down at him from my crisscrossed position on the field. He was smiling. I had never seen anything so wonderful.

He was wearing a black turtle neck and a heavy navy jacket and I was wearing a red sweater and jeans.

"He wants to talk to you," Gideon whispers as he ran his hands through my hair as his other tucked itself behind his head as a pillow.

My eyes were fluttering closed. "Who wants to talk to me?" I asked him. My voice sounded funny to me. Far off.

His hand left my hair and I sighed from the lost of contact. But with that hand, he pointed behind me. I uncurled my legs and turned myself to the figure in question.

"BH?" I breathed.

I smiled down at Gideon. "Gid, I want you to meet Beau. Beau Hunter James Ashton."

"This is your dream, silly," Beau told me softly, kneeling in a squatting position. "He can't meet me."

I frowned. "You would approve of him." I smile. "More so than the others."

He laughs suddenly. "What were you even thinking when you went of with that boy with the mullet?"

I laughed, too. "I was thinking about how much you would disapprove," I admit.

"So how is this any different, Jule?"

"Because he's different," I tell him, looking down at Gideon as his hand went back up to stroke my hair.

"I've noticed," he says, smiling softly. "I've been watching you guys."

"How?" I whispered. I became sad. "You're dead," I reminded him.

He points up above; to the sky and the clouds that sorted above us. "I am in a better place." His smile is small and without teeth. "You would love it up there."

"Then let me come with you," I say, grabbing his arm gently.

"But then you would leave him." Beau's head tilts as he looks down at Gideon, who is still smiling like we're not having a conversation.
"And I am not asking you of that. I will not ask you of that."

I look down at the leaves scattered on the ground. "I miss you."

"I know you do," he says gently. "I miss you, too." He looks down at Gideon. "But you would miss him more," he tells me.

"I don't think that's possible," I joke.

"It is," he assures me. "It is."

"I have to go now," he tells me, standing up and dusting himself off a bit. His blue sweater is the one I last saw him in.

I stand up to, Gideon's hand falling from my hair. I scramble after BH as he walks. "Don't leave me again."

He turns to me, a sympathetic look on his face as he kissed my temple in a pec. "I have never left you, Jule."

I think I started to cry as he walked back into the trees. And when he did, I was back into Gideon's arms on the damp ground.

——————
"Good morning, kleiner Löwe."

I jumped a bit. And then I laughed and twisted around in Gideon's arms to face him. "Crap. You didn't have to do that right as I woke up."

A hand laid on my hip. "I think I like scaring you," he says, laughing a bit as he leaned down slightly to kiss me. I was laying on my side and he looked over me as we moved our lips in sync.

I pulled away, drunk on happiness as I mumbled, "Good morning."

I rubbed my eyes. "I don't think I've slept that good in my entire life," I admitted, yawning as I shifted and sat up on his bed.

And stop your dirty thinking. It's Gideon. Virgin Gideon who politely asked to cuddle when we got back from the game.

"Me neither," he agreed as he played with my hair.

I laughed as he messed it up more than it already was, scrunching it into a birds nest.

I giggled. "Stop!" But he kept shoving hair in my face.

My cheeks hurt from laughing so much. I reached out and roughed up his hair as payback.

And that made him tangle my hair, but not without resistance from me.

The resistance costed me. My tank top's spaghetti strap slid down my shoulder slowly and slumped. I watched as Gideon released my hair, stared at the limp piece of fabric, and swallowed.

I leaned into his body, his touch as I rested my forehead against his, shutting my eyes gently with soft flutters of my lashes.

He inhaled, pushing away from me suddenly and jumping off the bed in a scramble. "Crap. It's eleven, JJ."

I stood too, readjusting my strap gently and taking my hair with my fingers. "What?"

"It's eleven. In the morning. We've missed four classes!"

"What's four more?" I mumbled, still intoxicated by the very man that is Gideon Andrews.

"My scholarship and your graduation," he reminded me, handing me his hoodie to put over my tank top and shorts. "Put this on and we can leave really quick."

I groaned loudly as he turned around from me and out on a sweatshirt, too. I pulled his over my head, inhaling slightly as I pushed my head through the hole. It smelled like him. Slight cologne and a bit of mint.

"I'll see you at lunch," he mumbles to me, cupping one of my cheeks and leaning down for a peck.

I whined slightly and kissed him again. "I hate school. Let's just stay here..."

"Tempting, but we gotta go," he says, smiling down at me and kissing my cheek softly before leaving the room.

I counted to five before following after him so I didn't end up jumping on him.