Beating again

Chapter eighteen

Sasha's POV

When he opens the door, we both freeze at the sight of a beautiful, glamorous woman who looks like she will surely break a few hearts. She's tall with long blonde hair that is curled up at the tip. Her dress drapes holistically that her curves become prominent by it and it's white colour complementing her glistening skin. How can someone defy all odds and actually look so stunningly magnificent.

"Tan?" She calls his nickname. I have noticed that people who call him by it have known him for quite long.

"Jema?" He says her name with extreme delicacy in disbelieve. Then I realise who this must be. Jema Wilder. Was it?

My hands start to sweat. This only happens when I am nervous, but there's no reason for me to be nervous right now.

She turns and she stares down at me, her eyes leisurely raking down my whole body. She raises a brow when she's finished with her visual appraisal.

"And she is?" She asks, whispering to Ethan.

I run a hand through my disheveled black hair and swallow on a lamp that is making its way to my throat as I walk towards the kitchen island to pick my phone and keys that I had put there earlier. I don't think there is room for me here anymore.

"I think I should make my self scarce." I say while I move to the door. My sweaty fingers wrap around the door handle and I tag it open.

"Wow, she's feisty. You should keep closer tabs on her." She says not minding that I am still there. I hear Ethan clearing his voice before I quickly move out and close the door.

-o-o-o-o-

You should keep closer tabs on her?

As if she didn't care? Is their relationship the kind where there is no commitment? Where you can do whatever you want with whomever you like?

Why am I thinking about this right now?

It didn't feel like anything during day at work, but the moment I get back to my apartment, loneliness hit me. My nights have always been lonely, but this time, it is sad, dark, painful, cold and numb. My chest feels like it is holding a crushing weight about to be destroyed.

I try to sleep and ignore it all but the moment I put my head down, her grand entrance appears in my head before I even start dreaming. It triggers a familiar ache in my chest that I have been struggling not to feel for the rest of my life. I barely get any hours of sleep till its morning.

Sighing, I get out of my bed feeling like pure hell. I don't take a chance to look at myself in the mirror, because I surely know I don't want to see how I look. I try to get ready as fast as I can because I know Jessie is waiting in my living room.

"Good morn___ Whoa! It is not a good morning, is it?" Jessie's eyes widen when she sees me. I thought I had managed to clear my face but it seems like no. I start regretting my idea of not looking at myself in the mirror before I came out.

"Good morning, Jessie." I say with a forced smile trying to hide all the tangled feelings and moods that are going on inside of me.

"What happened?" She asks softly both her face and her tone getting serious.

After years of dealing with a heartbreak, I fall for another guy and get another heartbreak from a thing that has not even started.

"Nothing. Let's go." I try. I can't say it loud, it will make things much more real than they already are.

"Look, Sasha. You're a girl with as much talent for disguise as a giraffe in dark glasses trying to get into a polar bears-only club." She says making me to tear up. Why am I so transparent? "Hey, if you don't want to talk about it it's okay, but if time comes and you want to, I am right here." She adds looking straight in my eyes and holding my hand, squeezing it gently. I blink as many times as I can to keep the tears from falling. "And you can cry as well. As much and as loud as you need to. Sasha, it's okay to not be okay." I am getting close now. What is her mission? To make me cry? No, I will not. I won't cry. Just not when she is looking at me.

Before I know, I pull her into a hug and just then, I allow a measured amount of tears to fall from my eyes, as I wipe them away behind her back. She taps on my back as I silently sob.

"I have realised just now that I like you quite a little." I mumble into her shoulder trying to calm myself down with a little humor.

She laughs out and I pull away. "That's a typical Sasha statement." She says not taking offence to what I have said.

Jessie is a girl with a hundred shades and I have grown to like her for that. She can be that innocent, naive, nerdy nice girl. She can be a bitch when she needs to. She can be the funny friend with all the sarcasm and also the comforting best friend when you need her. So flexible. So likeable.

As we walk to my car, I throw her the key and she catches it throwing me a confused look.

"Drive."

"Are you sure? I just got my driving license, so my driving might be quite bad."

"You can't be worse than me."

My driving rule number one : You don't drive while you are in a no good mood. No matter how much you are willing to die, you shouldn't kill other people.

I sit in the passengers sit and let Jessie drive us today.

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