[COMPLETED] hermitcraft oneshots & drabbles

Incorrect Quotes :) [Crack | HC]

That's right! Incorrect quotes! I hope you guys have a laugh out of this, though you may have already heard most of these... probably... most definitely.

Anyway, there's something that I would like to say before we start:

Thank you so much for over 550 reads! It really means a lot that you guys are probably enjoying these oneshots :D I wish I had something better for you guys on this special occasion, but this will have to do for now!

With that being said, let's get started, shall we?

Credit to: CascadingCalls for helping me during this... interesting process :)

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BDubs: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips, what should I do?

Iskall: Punch him in the stomach. Then when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Grian: Tackle him.

Scar: Dump him.

Keralis: Kick him in the shin.

Doc: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.

~~~

Tango: Detective! Have you seen the thing?

Impulse: What thing?

Tango (running about and answering distractedly): You know, the thing! I seem to have misplaced it and it's of great importance...

Zedaph bounces into the room: Hi Tango!

Tango: Ah, there it is.

Impulse:

Impulse: You lost Zedaph?

~~~

Grian: There's three ways to do thing; the right way, the wrong way, or the Grian way!

Mumbo: Isn't that the wrong way?

Grian: Yeah, but it's faster!

~~~

*At Sahara*

Iskall: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FIXED IT.

Grian: Fixed what?

Mumbo: Everything.

*LOUD EXPLODING IN THE BACKGROUND*

Iskall: ... except that.

~~~

this quote is only dirty if you make it dirty :>

Scar: sorry I'm late, Cub didn't want me to come.

BDubs:

BDubs: that's more information than I needed.

~~~

Doc: Danger is my middle name

BDubs: That's a lie

BDubs: Your middle name is cutie pie

BDubs: *boops his nose*

~~~

Beef: Hey do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Etho: You're a hazard to society.

Pause: ... And a coward, do twenty.

~~~

Evil X: Here you go 'suma, a nice cup of hot coffee

Xisuma: Oh, it's cold

Exil X: Nice cup of coffee.

Xisuma: It's horrible!

Evil X: Cup of coffee.

Xisuma: This isn't even coffee!

Evil X: Cup.

~~~

BDubs: Oh the food is too hot, I can't eat it.

Doc: You're too hot, yet I still eat you.

BDubs: *blushes*

Doc: *winks at him*

Xisuma: One dinner, all I want is ONE DINNER...

~~~

Mumbo: I don't even want to talk to him until I know for sure he's gay.

Iskall: [walks up to Grian] Excuse me, what kind of lipstick do you wear?

Grian: Oh I don't wear lipstick, only chapstick.

Iskall: Oh nice!

Iskall: [brushes past Mumbo] Gay.

~~~

Evil X, on the phone: We have him.

Beef: Who?

Evil X: Your boyfriend, Pause.

Beef: oh...

Evil X: ..."oh?"

Beef: Yeah, you don't have him. He has you. Good luck with that! *hangs up*

~~~

Cub: I can't believe we're stuck in this room together!

Scar, swallowing the key: Truly unfortunate.

~~~

Grian: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

Xisuma: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Scar: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Iskall: I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Mumbo: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF.

~~~

Xisuma: HYDRATE OR DIE

Xisuma: *aggressively throws water bottles at everyone*

Doc: Uh...

Grian: He's trying to yell mental health and well-being into everyone..

Xisuma: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU.

Scar: *crying* It's working.

~~~

That is the end of this segment of "Incorrect Quotes!"

Hope you guys liked it, I wish I had something else ready for you guys... :(

Anyway, like Xisuma said in the last quote:

HYDRATE OR DIE. (hah you really thought you could die? Jokes on you I'll just pester you in the afterlife.)

Love you all, and thank you again for over 550 reads! It means a lot :)

~Llama