[COMPLETED] hermitcraft oneshots & drabbles

me being a crackhead

My poll on the discord server said I should post this, so here it is again :)

Warnings: Swearing and basically chaotic energy

Also thank you so much for 2k reads on the book! I'm glad you guys probably enjoy reading my oneshots :D

This is me during this 2 day trip my parents forced me to go on :) 
Enjoy my embarrassment

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Hi hello I'm on a road trip. I'm going to document my thoughts and events in here because wHY NOT-

Lmao watch me read this later when I'm back home with wifi (AND SIGNAL-) and just die in embarrassment.

Hey maybe u should publish this future llama idk just a thought

Cofffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

hahfhahhdhfhs shfhahs focjajfjshhhdhdhahdhhshfhahd

I did not miss this part of road trips akfjajfjsjdjs why do I have no signal I'm nOT EVEN OUT OF ONTARIOHFJSHDJDJF

WHERE THE F*CK IS MY COFFEE oh found it *takes a long sip* I now have caffine in my system… YET I'M STILL DYING WTF SFJAJSJFJS AAAAAAAAAAA 

Hi hello just your friendly neighborhood chaotic llama, wassup sjfjajfjshf

I'm fine

shfjajfjshd why are iced cappuccinos so sweet. Tim Hortons you failed me

I miss my ice coffee :( I regret switching with my ice coffee with my dad's iced cappuccino. Why did my mom get him an iced cappuccino it's so fucking sweet I can't process this

AFJSJFJSJF ASIAN TINGS 😌💅✨

why couldn't we have gone to Montreal or Quebec or Ottawa. Not frigging Flower Pot Island >:V

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ah shit I'm blushinghahfhshfhshr

jdjfhahdhshs can I get a boyfriend pls and thamk. Or a girlfriend-

oH? Llama questioning her sexuality? uwu that's new

My mom just screamed "ARMY CADETS" and I swear I just jumped so high-

I'm an air cadet, mOm gEt iT riGHt

REEEEE DO YOU HEAR THAT? IT'S THE POPOPOPOPOPOLICE! Oh wait my bad, it was a fire truck.

MOTHERTRUCKER DUDE. THAT HURT LIKE A BUTTCHEEK ON A STICK.

EJFJSJFHS THERE'S A PUB CALLED THE DARK SIDE

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: "mom can we go to the dark side? I heard they serve cold beer"
My mom: "why are you acting drunk"
My mom to my dad: "do we have the right kid?"

I took a sip of the ice cappuccino forgetting that it was the ice cappuccino and not my ice coffee. I regret my life choices

Do you ever just wonder why the hell your sleep schedule is messed up like excuse me I did not consent to that who gave you the right to make your own schedule without my consent.

Consent is important kids. Consent is smexy as hell. Speaking of hell, Satan where the fuck is my cornchip.

I sold my soul to the devil for one cornchip. It's been 14 years and I still sEE NO CORNCHIP. I HAVE BEEN THOROUGHLY THOROUGHLY SCAMMED. I HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED. *sniff*

I like my coffee like I like my men. Vulnerable. Wait-

POTTWAATATATSRTATASTATATOTAIEJFHSHFHSBB WHAT WHAT'D HAHAAHAHAHA THAT'S A PLACE??!??!??  I'M CRYING I CAN'T BREATH-