Love, Lust, and Friendship ♡ A Kim Taehyung ff/smut/short ft Jungkook. |18+|

Chapter 12

Anna POV 

The three weeks I've stayed with Jungkook have really helped me feel better. He took such great care of me with so much caution and compassion. I felt bad..like I was extorting his feelings.. I know he didn't see it that way..but that's how I felt. 

Tae hadn't answered any of my texts or calls. It made it a little easier to get over him from being in love with him..but more hurt that our entire relationship might be finished. 

I could've accepted the fact that he didn't love me back. 
I can't accept the end of our relationship. 
Especially like this. 
Our friendship and his happiness meant more to me than being with him. 
I just wish I could've told him that before things got so broken. 

"Good morning noona" Jungkook mumbled in my ear as he woke up 
"Good morning kookie" I smiled as I rolled over to hug him 
"We're off today..what did you want to do?" 
"I think I'm gonna swing by my place..grab some stuff..and maybe try to talk to Tae" he nodded silently at my words. 
"After that we should go out..find something to do and just relax" 
"I would like that" I smiled at him as I ran my fingers through his hair.
He ran the tip of his nose up and down the length of mine before he kissed my forehead and got out of bed. 
He's still very affectionate towards me..but we haven't come close to sleeping together which I was thankful for.

He was letting me heal. 

We ate breakfast together and I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading to my apartment. 
I sat in my car in the parking lot for a while before I decided to get out and go in. I opened the door and stepped into the living room. 

It was almost unrecognizable. 
The place was trashed. 
My heart hurt. 

I walked to my room to grab my stuff and I found Tae sleeping in my bed with an empty bottle of Jack Daniel's still in his palm. I decided to clean the apartment, once I was done I cooked food for him and woke him up 
"Anna?" He mumbled 
"It's me..come eat. I have Tylenol for your head too" 
He nodded and stretched before getting up off of the bed, he followed me into the kitchen and sat down across from me at the table. He ate in silence. 

"Can we talk..?" I asked nervously 
"Of course" he said as he sat back in his seat
"I um.. I don't really know where to begin. I shouldn't have stormed out that day when I overheard your conversation with kookie" 
"You had every right to do that" 
"But I should've confronted you about it..not just flew off the handle" 
He nodded 
"And also, for bothering you with Becca. I only lied to you because I wanted to surprise you. I should have thought about the possibility you would take advantage of my absence..it's what we've both done in the past" 

He nodded again and sipped his water 

"How are you so calm right now? I feel like our entire relationship is falling apart and you're just emotionless" 

"I am far from emotionless Anna" he said in a deep tone of voice making me gulp at the anger lying underneath of those words. 
"I have been torturing myself since you left that day. I have hated every single fucking second of your absence. So while you're playing house with Kookie, I've been here by myself trying to pick myself up off the floor and move on" he slammed his fist down on the table "so no, Anna, I'm not fucking emotionless. I'm fucking tired." He bit his bottom lip to prevent himself from crying. I felt tears form in my eyes too. 
"I'm sorry" I whispered 
"You have nothing to be sorry for. Everything that's happened is my fault. I know that. I can accept that" he nodded at his words as he thought about what to say next "do you still want space?" 
"I do" I whispered as I nodded. 

I'm still in love with him. 

"Okay" he whispered as he closed his eyes "maybe you should go then..we'll talk about what I need to tell you once you're done needing space" he looked down at the floor 
"But..Tae.." 
"Please Anna.." he gulped as he whispered my name 
"Okay" I nodded, I went to stand up 
"Tae?" I heard from down the hall, I heard Tae sigh as he put his head down 
"Fuck" he whispered "it's not what it looks like this time" he said with tears on his cheeks, my own tears had started to drop down my face as Becca came into the kitchen wearing a pair of Tae's pajamas.

She must have been in his room which is why I didn't know she was there. 

"Oh, hey Anna" she said softly as she glanced between Tae and I. 
"Hello Becca" I smiled and wiped the tears from my face, I let out a laugh and covered my mouth "sorry.. I'll be going now" 
"Anna..I mean it. It's not what it looks like this time" 
"It's alright Tae, you don't have to explain yourself. I'm going to go play house with Kookie again" 

And with that, I left. I drove back to Kookie's house and wiped away my tears before walking in. He had gone out to grab some groceries so I figured I'd go lay down and cry it out by myself so I didn't worry him. 

Taehyung POV 

"Did you know she was here?" 
"No.. I promise. If I did I wouldn't have come out of the room" 

I nodded at her words. 

Her boyfriend found out where she went that night, he kicked her out and she had nowhere to go. We haven't touched or hardly spoken since that day but I felt like the cause of the break up and offered her my room as a temporary fix. 

Again, I watched the love of my life break a bit more as she left our home. 
Again my heart ached for her. 
Again I sat at the table by myself as tears ran down my face. 

"You should tell her.." 
"She wants space"
"Only because she doesn't know Tae.." 
"If she found out she'd come back out of pity. I don't want that" 
"It wouldn't be pity, she's in love with you just as much as you're in love with her" 
"But she's never hurt me. All I've done these last three weeks is hurt her. Telling her my feelings now is just going to act like a bandaid. It's not good enough. She'd forgive me sure, and we would be fine for a while..but eventually the unspoken things would tear us apart all over again" 
"I understand" she nodded "so what are you going to do? Because getting black out drunk every night and crying isn't going to fix this" 
"You've got a point..and I'm not sure" 

I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes while I tried to formulate a plot that could work while also giving her the space she needs. 

"You're making it easier for Jungkook to pick up the pieces you're leaving behind.." 
"I know.." I whispered