Spectrum- a Jared Kleinman Angst fic

Chapter Four (end)

Lol nobody is reading this, but it's over anyway-- guess I'll party by myself lol

sorry for the hideous picture, you'll probably never forget it 

oh right, uuhh cursing, and drugs (not like.. hardcore drugs)

Jared's started carrying his pills everywhere. Wherever he goes, they're hidden in his bag, or stuffed in his hoodie pockets.

When he has an "emergency," which is just any time his emotions go out of check, he takes one. They last long enough that the once a day limit doesn't matter.

He's gotten so used to using them that he needs to order more soon. He started with around twenty, and now he's down to only a couple of pills.

So he orders a few more bottles' worth of pills. They come in little baggies, just like the first one.

He keeps the extras stashed around his room: one bag in his closet, one under the bed, and the last one in a drawer.

They really save him sometimes. He'll be talking to his friends, or walking around his house while his dad is home, and he'll start feeling like shit. He can recognize when he's about to fall down a rabbit hole and not come back for a while, so he'll see it and take a pill.

Once it wears off, he either: a. stopped thinking about whatever was making him upset or b. is in a spot where he can think about it. That usually means he's locked up somewhere by himself.

He's sitting with his friends right now at the orchard. They're chilling on a bench, eating lunch together because it's the weekend. Jared's actually feeling pretty good.

"So then I went up to present, and she was just sitting there. Like, not moving," Alana says, shaking her head. "I mean, she didn't even work on the project, and then she refuses to help present?"

"That's really dumb. Too bad I can't be your partner all the time," Zoe says with a small sigh. Jared nods.

"You should like, take her name off of the credits slide," Jared suggests, taking a bite out of his fluffernutter sandwich.

"Yeah, I'll probably do that," Alana agrees. She picks up her peanut butter and jelly sandwich and starts eating while Connor and Evan start talking.

"That's really unhealthy, you know," Connor comments, staring at Jared's food. He rolls his eyes.

"You're just jealous," Jared says. He pulls out a water bottle from his bag before closing it again.

"Hey, wait, do you have more water? I ran out," Evan says, sitting up to peek inside Jared's bag. Jared nods and opens it up again, searching for another bottle of water.

He finds one and hands it over.

"There you go."

"Thanks." Just as Jared moves to zip his bag shut, Connor grabs it from him.

"Hey-" he reaches to get it back- "that's mine—"

"Not anymore," Connor says, dumping its contents onto the wooden park table. Jared cringes. His pills are in there.

Now he's starting to need one.

Everyone looks at his food with mild interest. Well, except Jared, who is kind of freaking out right now. What if they find out what the pills are? They'll make fun of him for sure. He's such a freak, taking pills to hide his emotions. What's—

"Jared? Are... are you okay?" Evan asks from across the table. Jared gulps and nods. "Really? You seem, uh, pale, and... your hair is white."

He nods vigorously. They're not gonna find anything.