Searching (Zuko x OC)

Chapter 14

WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of sexual assault (not rape! just sexual assault). If that topic triggers you, please scroll to the part of the chapter that will have ••• above it. Everything after that will be safe for you to read and I will make sure that it is still cohesive for you to read. Thank you!

- Zoe

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I fell asleep in Zuko's arms and willed myself to stop crying. I had to stop thinking about it. I had to be the strong one. I had always kept my emotions under control for him. For myself. For my own safety.

I tried, but the images of the experience kept playing through my head. It was like an endless loop that I never escaped from. No matter how many times I fought back or screamed for them to stop, it never worked. I felt violated beyond belief.

My first time experiencing these kinds of things should have been something I enjoyed. It should have been something I shared with a person I love and care for. It should have been something I wanted. But instead, it was taken from me. Ripped from my hands by complete strangers. I was grateful that Zuko arrived when he did, otherwise they would have gone further and I would have been broken. I was sure that I would have shattered into a million pieces.

But I didn't have that luxury. I had to be strong. I couldn't afford to break. I had people that depended on me and secrets that couldn't be released. If I didn't get my emotions under control, all hell would break loose. I was fighting myself even in my dreams.

It was a constant switch between reliving the terrifying experiences I had endured and then convincing myself that it was over and I had to push it out of my head. It was exhausting and by the time I woke up, I felt like I didn't sleep at all.

I snapped up in my bed when I realized I was alone. My heart was racing and I backed into the corner of the bed where my back was against the wall. My breathing was heavy and I quickly scanned the room. I relaxed slightly when I realized that I was in my room. I immediately began to sob.

I was safe. I was back where nobody could hurt me. I heard muffled talking outside and then the door opened. I shot my head up and got into a defensive position but then immediately ran and embraced the person in a hug when I saw who it was.

"I'm so sorry my dear. I never should have told you to go to the hot spring," Iroh apologized, embracing me in a hug.

I continued to cry as he held me. It was in these moments I was grateful to have him. He was like the father I never had. He meant so much to me. And being able to have him hold me like a father in his arms made all the difference.

He pulled out of the hug and lead me to the edge of the bed. I sat next to him and he held my hands as I let my tears stop falling.

"It's not your fault Uncle. I should have been ready," I sniffed, forcing myself to hold back the tears.

"Sora.....You did nothing wrong," he insisted.

"I relaxed. That was my mistake," I said honestly.

He sighed and simply hugged me again. We sat there silently and I felt comforted by his presence.

"How about I make you some tea? You should relax," he suggested.

I nodded as he got up. I didn't want to be alone, but I also loved the idea of drinking some tea and getting rid of the awful feeling of cold that coated my body. I then realized I was still just in my undergarments and I immediately felt sick. I needed to take them off. I had to get them off of me. It felt like I was suffocating. Uncle left the room and I practically ran to my dresser. I wrapped my chest bindings as tight as they would go so that they made my breasts as nonexistent as possible. I then grabbed the loosest clothing I could find and threw it on me. I hid the undergarments I had previously been wearing in a drawer that I never used. I slammed it shut and then curled into a ball on my bed.