My Angel

Angel 20

Talking to Matheo makes my worries less thinkable. And talking to Kian, makes me realize that I've forgiven him for using me. But the feeling of being fooled again is still hanging within me. But the desire to see and talk to my father is growing even more. I want to make everything better, I don't want this feeling like something is missing and incomplete anymore.

I want to see my papa. I want to talk to him, and ask him why? Why did he leave us? Am I not enough for him to stay? And many more.

I know that I can't be totally okay without talking and seeing him. This Is the last piece for me to move forward in my life. I'm stuck. The finish line is reachable yet I cannot reach it.

Matheo and me were cool to each other but the awkwardness is still there. Or maybe I'm the only one feeling it? How would I put this... ahm, He's more relaxed and flirty with me after that talk. Yeah that's it.

And I'm thankful that we talked that night. Because seeing my son's cheerfulness after that makes me happy.

I'm tucking him to bed cause it's time to sleep. Matheo went home after having dinner with us.

"Did you have fun today?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

"Yes mommy! I've got to see a lot of fish! Different kinds of fish! And also because you and daddy are with me." Masayang sagot nito.

"I'm glad our baby Juaches is happy. Baby I want to say sorry for not with you for days." Sinusuklay ko ang buhok niya at mas lalo siyang nagsusumiksik sa akin at yumakap.

Gusto niya kasi akong makatabi ngayong matulog. "It's okay mommy I understand that you're avoiding daddy" napatigil sa ere ang kamay kong sumusuklay sa buhok nito. Napa angat siya ng tingin sa akin at ngumiti,

"But I'm happy because the both of you are okay na! I'm so happy, very happy when you and daddy fetch me at school. I'm feeling jealous po kasi pag nakikita ko ang mga classmate kong sinusundo ng mommy at daddy nila kaya happy po akong okay na kayo ni daddy. Ang tagal na din po kasing kayo gusto makausap ni daddy ulit so that he can explained himself to you daw po. Sa canada palang nangungulit na si- - -"

Napatakip ito sa bibig ng ma realize that he's blubbering. At malalaki ang matang nakatingin sa akin. Pinaliit ko ang aking mga matang tumingin sa kanya pabalik.

"Ano yon Juaches?" Nanunuring tanong ko. These two...

"Wala po iyon mommy... ah ano po! Ah inaantok na ako. Sige na mommy sleep na po tayo" tarantang sabi nito at pumikit na para matulog napapailing na lang ako.

Mag-ama nga talaga. Hmp! Parehong masekreto.

"Mommy how long are we gonna stay there?" Untag ni Juaches na nakaupo sa sofa habang ako ay nag aayos ng gamit na dadalhin namin patungong cebu. Yes kasama si Matheo. Hindi ko naman siya pinasama pero dahil makapal ang mukha, he invited himself.

"Mga more or less three to four days anak" tinignan ko siya mula sa aking kinaroroonan at nakangiti itong sinalubong ang aking mga mata.

"So we can bond together with daddy po?" Kuryosong tanong nito habang nakakunot ang noo at nakanguso.

Napahagikhik ako sa itsura nito, "Yes baby dahil ang daddy mo ng leave muna sa trabaho niya para makasama sa atin."

Napa 'yes' naman ito at napa halakhak ako sa inakto niya. I don't know but he's so excited to go there. Ni hindi pa nga nakapunta doon.

Pagkababa namin sa parking area andoon na si Matheo naghihintay. His so gwapo pa din! His hair that's a bit messy, clenching jaw, wearing a fitted white v-neck shirt, tattered jeans paired with black sunglasses and denim jacket.