Percy Jackson: Gods and Demigods

How Hephaestus Was Born (Percy)

Hera hated all the children that Zeus had with other women. They just kept popping up like weeds.

Zeus claimed they were from previous relationships, way before their marriage. But some were mortal and they definitely didn't look over three hundred years old.

Finally, she blew her lid.

She shouted at Zeus, "You keep having kids without me! Do you think this is funny? You think I appreciate you going back on your promise!"

Zeus frowned. "Is that a trick question?"

"See how you like it!" Hera cried. "I'm going to have a kid without you, without any man! I'll have a baby all by myself!"

Zeus scratched his head. "Uh, honey, I don't think it works that way."

"Bah!" Hera marched out of the throne room.

Anyway, out of sheer force of will, some very effective breathing exercises, possibly some Eastern meditation, and a proper diet, Hera got pregnant magically, with absolutely no help.

That was the good news.

The bad news? When the baby arrived, he looked like he could've used some help. His head was misshapen.

His whole body was covered with patches of curly black hair. He had a large chest and bulky arms, but his legs were shriveled and bent, one slightly longer than the other.

Instead of crying, he made grunting noises like he really needed to use the bathroom. He was the ugliest kid Hera had ever seen.

Even though he was her own baby, she felt no motherly connection, no love, just embarrassment.

Personally, I'm not surprised things turned out ugly. I mean, you have a baby for revenge? That's a pretty messed-up reason, but it wasn't the kid's fault.

Hera said to herself like a crazy person would: I can't show this ugly baby to the Olympians, they would laugh at me.

She opened the window of her bedroom and looked down the side of Mount Olympus. She tossed the baby. It was a long way down.

The kid wasn't gone. His name was Hephaestus. Meanwhile, on his trip down, he sorta yelled something like: WHY MOMMY?