Never Been Kissed

Ch.50 ↬ M

"I have a new idea for the community hall website," I propositioned to Vincent.

He leaned back, resting his elbow against his desk in the large open-plan office at Kelly Industries. "I figured, since you set up another meeting... through the CEO of all people." He waggled his eyebrows at me, and I felt that familiar fluttering in my stomach that erupted whenever Josh was mentioned.

Josh and I returned to Riverside late Sunday evening over a week ago now. In the week that ensued, between returning to my job at Tucker Constructions (Jeremy was immensely considerate after I explained the circumstances to him), reviving my routine of prepping the community hall every day for the renters and spending time with Josh, Vincent and Raegan, I set up my own little project. First, however, I had to do the research.

I was staggered when I realised the lack of support for sexual abuse victims in Riverside.

So I took it upon myself to start one up.

Taking into account my lack of professionalism in support groups and counselling, I initially had to reach out to someone trained and with sufficient experience in that realm but when I discovered the vast abundance of those people in Riverside, I advertised the role publicly. An hour a week, paid by me to begin with (subject to change if they wanted a permanent place as a renter in the community hall) by the additional profits from the community hall, to provide a support group for sexual abuse victims of all ages in Riverside.

At the time of consulting the community hall's website designer and maintainer, I'd hired a forty-year-old woman with a plethora of experience in sexual abuse who was excited and more than prepared to take on the support group. I didn't have an official start date for her as of yet because I hadn't publicised the news, but I was going to advertise it every Thursday morning prior to the drug addiction support group meeting so the hall would almost already be set up.

"Josh already knows," I said.

I knew it had only been a week and there was every chance for the world to throw something else detrimental at us, but Josh and I were great. We'd slipped back into how we used to be prior to the revelations and we'd even babysat Oscar together one night after Josh picked him up from school. Since it was my first time seeing Oscar after fleeing from Josh's mom's house, he allowed us ten minutes to clear the air and to sort some matters out. The second Josh left the room, Oscar leaped into my arms, hugging me tightly and murmuring, "I missed you. Thank you for not sending my daddy away."

My heart just about melted, but I was final with my decision to not call the cops on Frank. After knowing Oscar so personally, I couldn't bear to endure the guilt and license it to fester within me from separating Oscar from those who loved him. That wasn't fair. And I'd long since come to terms with what happened to me. I didn't want to dredge it all up again in front of a jury. It was buried in the past. It was buried, and in my week to breathe I'd allowed myself to grieve for it and mourn it, thus being able to start a new chapter. Again.

"Go on," Vincent prompted, eyebrows raised, and his curiosity piqued.

"I'm starting something new for the community hall which needs to be advertised so the website needs updating."

Vincent sprang to action, typing in the website address for the community hall in his browser. He scrolled down the homepage quickly to ensure it was all still functioning as it should since the last time he updated it. He then navigated to the webpage which featured the schedule for the community hall and turned pointedly to me.

"I'm starting a support group for sexual abuse victims. Thursday morning," I declared.

Vincent's jaw dropped and he continued to gawk at me, but I refused to squirm under his beady eyes. Clearly whatever he suspected my plan to be, this was not it. But since returning to Riverside, I felt empowered. Instead of licensing my past to burden me and define me, I was owning it and using it to make a difference with other people. To help them. To motivate and inspire me and retain that determination to see this through.