The Hidden Secret

Part 7: Make it right

The next day...

I wake up with an empty tub of ice cream in my arms and my music still blasting out my speaker but it changed to my KSI playlist currently playing "Millions."

I pick up my phone and check the time. 8:35am. Thankfully I don't start work until 6pm tonight, I have time to sort myself out and calm myself down.

If people at work found out about this I am screwed. They're all older than me so I always feel left out. If they know what happened they'll judge me so much.

I pause my music and turn off the speaker in the lounge, I go into my bathroom and turn on my water speaker then continue playing my playlist. I look at myself in the mirror ashamed of myself and what I've become. If 15 year old me saw me now she would be so embarrassed. I know I can make this right but first I need to wash off the tea that is sticking to my body.

I take my pyjamas off and leave them by the door then hop into the shower. I turn the temperature to the hottest setting and let the water flow down my body. My music app switches to my Talia Mar playlist and starts to play Stolen, my favourite song. I lean against the wall and let the water cover me as I listen to the song.

After the song finishes I snap back into reality and continue washing the tea that is still stuck to my body. After I finish I get out and wrap my towel around me bringing my phone and water speaker with me to my room so I can get ready for the day. I place them down on the desk and close the curtains so I can get changed.

As I don't start work for a while I put on my knee length red dress and my Anna Sacconejoly necklace then wrap my hair in a towel then sit on my bed on my phone for a while.

After about half an hour I take my hair out of the towel and dry it with a hair dryer. I put the towel in the washing basket by the door and go into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I start gazing out the window and zone out for a bit thinking about last night, I am brought back into reality by the sound of the kettle boiling the water.

I grab my phone from my room and walk back into the kitchen. I check to see if either Johnny, Adam or Anna have messaged me but nothing. Anna has blocked me on all social media apps and deleted the picture of us on Facebook.

I put it down on the counter and make my cup of tea. I check again but still nothing. I grab a couple of biscuits and head back into my room then sit on my bed.

After another half an hour of being invested in the twitter and Instagram timelines I get a message through. It's from Adam.

"Hey Beth. You might not want to talk to me at the moment but I just want you to know I'm here for you no matter what. I care for you so much and I always will. I just want to see you happy whether that's being with me or being with Johnny. Let me know when you want to talk and I'll be here."

Tears start to fill my eyes, I care for Adam so much and I don't ever want to see him hurt. I reply back to him.

"Hey Adam. Thank you for not being furious with me. What I did was wrong and I don't deserve a guy like you. I don't start work until 6pm so if you want you could come round and we can have a chat?"

I send the message and release a huge sigh of relief. I can finally tell him how I've been feeling and everything that happened that night. I check my messages but Johnny still hasn't messaged me but I do have a text from my sister, Eliza.

"I've just heard about what happened between you and Adam. I'm quite shocked about what happened, I can't believe you would do that to him. For the first time in my life I am ashamed of you."

My sister has always been my best friend and to read a message like that broke my heart into pieces. The words "I am ashamed of you" will be engraved in my head.