TW: negative thoughts/panic attack (whoops my hand slipped on the angst)
Logan slammed the door to his room. He tried to preoccupy himself by doing mundane tasks to benefit Thomas but the voices wouldn't go away.
Worthless
Freak
Emotionless
Cold
"Shut up shut up shut up" Logan mumbled to himself. This wasn't new he told himself, they would pass.
Breathe in for four.
Harsh
Nerd
Brash
Idiot
Hold for 7.
Useless
Stupid
Unnecessary
Silly
Exhale fo- "ahhhhhHhhhH". Logan dropped to his knees screaming. The pain in his head only worsened by that damn voice. He couldn't move a muscle, the pain was too unbearable but the voice only seemed to laugh maniacally. Ohh poor little robot thinks it isn't true. "It...isn't... I-" Tch I know you are dumb but really? Aren't you supposed to be able to see facts? You are always so naive, persistently believing the others care about you. "They d-" Then where are they? Because I certainly don't see them. "..." The voice seemed to grin. Now repeat after me. Everything about you is so terrible, good, everything about you makes me want to die~. Hahaha I'm joking I'm joking, I know you already know that, I am your thoughts after all. Though you still seem to have a flicker of hope. The voice frowned. I know just how to fix that! The room around Logan darkened and he could suddenly see flashbacks to previously encounters with his frien-, the other sides.
"Get over it. You're the least popular character, and you know it." Virgil said, his voice beyond distorted.
"Well then you might say the amount of mistakes you've made is... infinitesimal?" Patton's voice was a pitch too high, a fake smile plastered onto his face that wasn't there before.
Suddenly Roman's voice was laughing at him "Squad-less geek... You're alone".
Even Thomas started to join in on the taunts "That is enough out of you... Logic!".
Logan was clearly losing control. He was spiraling and the cognitive distort- facts, the facts the other sides were spewing at him hurt more than any physical wound. He knew he would never meet their standards because at the end of the day he was too emotional, too angry, too childish, too sad. He was trapped. He wanted... he wanted. 'What do I want?' Logan thought to himself through the cacophony of noise.
The voices of the others started to merge together, locking him to the ground as the pain started to increase all around his body.
"Okay, stop. Don't... You are upsetting him."
"Shhhhhhhhhh..."
"He's stupid."
"Mr. Gloomy Gus Teacher"
"Pocket Protector"
"Nerd"
"Microsoft Nerd"
"You DO talk too much sometimes..."
"Get on with it, calculator watch!"
"I normally would have fallen asleep"
"Shut your ever-flapping gobtalker"
"Oh hush, sub-astute teacher!"
"Logan, can you stop? Please?"
"Everyone's favorite character!"
"drama turd" Roman can lying be good
"Well, at least I am not a bore, and a snore, times four... eyes!"
"kind of hate you a little bit right now and... Shut your dirty mouth"
"he's the worst and that he's been the thorn in your side all along."
"Logan's not here let's act like it"
"This is a benched trial for you"
"Not a good time Logan"
"Shut up or I'll shut you up"
"I will prohibit your breathing"
"Oh shut up Nerdy Wolverine"
"Shut your mouth or I'll tear up your nipples and shove them up your nose"
"I... I... I want OUT!" Logan screamed.
Suddenly Logan's room was glitching in and out of existence, not that Logan could tell of course over the pounding inside his head. His normally sleek room was falling apart at the seams and strands of binary could be seen where there was once a bed, then a desk, then his carpet. The void of nothingness was now brightly illuminated with binary. Logan's throbbing headache subsided and he looked up just in time to see the code converging into the center of his room, forming... a door? Logan got up and as he the code started to form words.
import.java.util.*;
public class Choice
{
public static void main(Strings[]args)
{
Scanner scan=new Scanner(System.in);
boolean x;
boolean open;
System.out.println("Do you want out?");
String response=scan.next();
if(response.compareTo("yes")==0)
x==true;
if(!(response.compareTo("yes")==0))
x==false;
if (x==true)
{
open==true;
System.out.println("freedom")
}
else
{
open==false;
System.out.println("pain");
}
}
}
No! What do you think you're doing! Get back down, you deserve this you know! Aren't you supposed to be smart! Stop!
Logan chucked at himself internally. Like Virgil, he was notorious for overthinking every problem, every answer, but he found that it didn't take him a fraction of a second to voice his response to the question that appeared in his room.
"yes"
No! You were supposed to say no! Just say no! Stop!!!! STOP!
Logan sluggishly moved toward the door as it started to shine brighter and creak open.
STOP! T h e y w i l l n e v e r c a r e a b o u t y o u. You don't need happiness, you don't need emotions, I can offer you numbness. I can offer you apathy. You need that in order to do your one purpose in life! Don't be useless!
Logan reached for the doorknob then paused. "I don't need you". He smiled, a genuine one at that. "I deserve happiness" The voice recoiled and started to lessen in volume.
You can't get rid of me! Just accept it!
"Falsehood" Logan said softly. "It won't be easy, I'll give you that but I can, I know I can, and the first step is to do something for myself and to stop letting you control my life" Smiling, Logan stepped through the door.
1 cookie to anyone who comments the correct coding language that was used
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Love and Loss
FanfictionLogan realizes that drastic measures need to change in order for him to be content with himself but is his own well being worth the hardships that are sure to follow? Will Logan's epiphany succeed in creating the changes that need to be made or wil...
