Et tú, Clarissa?

Chapter six

Present Day (England, Britain)

"Hey, you. Hey. What happened?" Zac says, standing over me with me in his big arms.

I gasp for air and try to get out of his grip. I do not do it very gracefully so he obviously notices and puts me down on the floor. A bit too slow before I roll out his grip and land on the wooden floor in front of him.

"What happened? You look scared to death."

I let my hands go over my face and I feel how my cheeks are sticky of tears. I sniffle quietly while I try to keep my swollen eyes open.

"You kind of freaked me out, just starting fainting and crying like that. Don't ever do that again!"

When I gathered my strength, I look up at him.

"I think I just remembered how my mother died."

Every sign of anger disappears and his whole face paints in all shades of compassion, sadness and shame. He wraps his arms around me in a big hug and I start crying again. The pictures of her naked back and those burned corpses will not leave my cornea. Those dreadful memories. I shiver.

Please say that not all this is real. It has to be my fantasy playing tricks on me! The things I 'seen' cannot be. It is impossible! That seemed to been hundreds of years ago, in a totally different time and I cannot be more than possible 20 years of age.

After a while, my tears start running out, but I found myself not wanting them to. All this time, Zac held me close, without uttering even one small complaining sound. In his arms, I somehow feel safe. Like I have been protected there before, but why would I feel like that? He left me at the hospital and wanted nothing to do with me. The fact that he has been nothing but cruel since we came here does not help justifying the feeling either.

Suddenly, pictures of me kissing someone looking exactly like Zac, but with a bit longer hair, appears in front of my eyes. Just like quick flashes, almost too fast to see, they show themselves before disappearing again, leaving me 'freaked out' as Zac so descriptively describe the feeling. I pull away from him and I would guess my eyes gives away the fear spreading down my spine. Zac looks at me in confusion.

"What is it? Did you remember something else?"

I swallow to keep the cry obey and shake my head again.

"No, I am fine."

No one would have believed those trembling words flowing out of my mouth carried of dried tears, but still my brain could not come up with something better to tell him. I want nothing else than get back in that hug that made me feel safe, but something inside of me force me on feet and I walk over to the fireplace.

"Who are you?" Zac asks genuine and I feel like he has asked that already, but he has not. "I can't keep call you Jane Doe."

I look down at the nametag around my wrist and find that same name written in black letters.

"Who is Jane Doe?"

"Someone whose name you don't know as you come to the hospital."

My hunches shift. I have a strong feeling of that I can trust him, but at the same time, I do not want him to know my name, why is that? I continue staring down in the fire and throw in one more log to the hungry flames before answering him.

"You will come up with something."

It gets quiet for a while and I just stare into the spattering flames. Then I hear how Zac prepare himself for saying something.