Et tú, Clarissa?

Chapter twenty-four

Present Day (England, Britain)

I listen to the sound of the water from the shower spatter against the wall, doors and Zac naked skin. It took me much convincing to make sure I would still be here when he would come out from the shower to get him to enter the bathroom. He made me promise to not go anywhere and tell him what happened to me. Even though I know I cannot break a promise, I would do anything to run away from here, but at the same time, the sound draws me to it. Also, it seems to generate all kinds of thoughts which I push away as soon as I catch myself almost opening the bathroom door. As soon as I can, I turn my back towards it and tries to figures out a task to keep me occupied, which appears to be something I do not have to do for long before I hear how he turns off the water.

"Clary?" I hear him ask to check if I am still here.

"Here." I say and throw a gaze over my shoulder on the wooden door behind me to look back at the wall in front of me again.

"Could you fetch me some clothes, please?"

I hurry to the bedroom and quickly walk over to the dresser to find some clothes as I see the clothes I borrowed, just as neatly folded as I left them, but now on the nightstand, like he did not have the heart to wash them or put them away in a drawer. This is a sight that makes a smile gather the courage to enter my lips and my hands stop shaking. Suddenly I do not feel the need of doing everything so fast anymore and take the clothes back to the bathroom. As I am only a few steps from the door, he opens it, dressed in nothing more than the towel wrapped around his hip.

"Thank you." he says as he takes the hoodie from the top of the pile of clothes in my arms while I can do nothing but look at him as he covers his ripped torso under the big hooded sweatshirt.

As his head finds its way out from the collar, he looks at me and I regain the control of my gaze.

"Are you sure you do not want to get dressed before you come outside the bathroom?"

Zac shrugs, but smiles as he takes his trousers from my hands.

"No, I wouldn't wanna risk you running away now when I know you stayed until I got out."

It gets quiet and we look at each other only for some seconds, but it feels like the world around us disappears. After a while I succeed to get out of it and look around to gather strength to look at him again.

"I need to tell you something..." I tell him and he looks at me serious to show me that he listens, but just as I am about to open my mouth again, his phone starts to beep stressfully, like an alarm.

He sighs and are just about to turn it off when he takes a look on the screen where I can figure out something that makes him worried have appeared.

"I'm so sorry. It's work. A dreadful fire has started in the middle of town and it spreads fast." he hurries towards the door and puts his clothes on before he takes his jacket and keys. "I have to go, but I beg of you. Please stay here."

"No, I have to come with." I tell him. "I won't let you go alone."

"Please, Clary. Having you near the fire will only make me worried for one more thing. Please stay here so that I know that you are safe."

"What if you need my help?"

"I'm a firefighter, I'll be alright. I do this for a living." he winks at me before he walks out the door, but I can see the worry in his gaze.

It is like he fears he will not come out from that fire. I run after him, but as I come outside the door, I see him drive away so I get inside again. Something takes a hold of me and I feel the panic sneak up on me. My feet take me back and forth over the floor in the living room as I run my hands through my hair and it is like all impressions around me gets louder and brighter and bigger. It feels like I am going to disappear.