I need you to love me

The argument

"I thought we were best friends Matt," I whisper in his ear.

Matt is my boyfriend but I think I'm losing him, he hardly ever tells me he loves me and he never takes me out. I know the music and the boys are important to him but he never takes us all out as a big group like he used to. Let me tell you that I would never take music away from him, it's his dream come true and I support him. I love their music and I listen to them all the time. The 1975 is amazing but Matt seems to have forgotten about me.

"Lucy we're in a relationship," He whispers in my ear. He strokes my hair and kisses my cheek gently. Why only now does Matt do this but not when we're having a normal day.

"Yeah, a relationship when the boy can't even call his girlfriend a girlfriend in public."

"Luce, it's not like that. I just don't want our relationship to be in the papers so you feel like we can't be a normal couple."

"See, you know you do it; I never even said it was you treating his girlfriend like that, you know it but you don't do anything. And Matt I don't even care how much the papers get involved, this our relationship not the paper's relationship with us."

"Babe."

"Yeah, bye Matt. I need some space, we can talk later."

I leave the room and go to my bedroom to cry, Matt just doesn't understand that I love him so so much and I don't want to lose him. I just want him to know that I need him by my sidead a boyfriend. I want him to be able to say 'this is my girlfriend' in public, and if he doesn't love me I need him to say. I want him to know as hours girlfriend I need to be loved and he needs to show me, it breaks me to seethat he can't even express his feelings to his girlfriend. I need Matt to get me one day.

Matty please show me you love me.

I think we should spend some time apart for a few days, not to long because I know I will miss him and this isn't a break up. I just need space.

"Matt! Come here for a second please, " I shout from my room, I'm going to tell him that I need space. He'll understand.

"Yes Lucy," He says looking deeply into my eyes. I quickly look away, I don't need that right now.

"Um....I was thinking that we need a few days apart, so I'm going to my sister's tomorrow just for two nights," I say gently, I don't want to hurt him. I can't look into his eyes right now, I'm avoiding his whole face.

"Why can't you just stay, did I never love you enough?" He questions me, I can hear anger in his voice.

Well I'm annoyed as well so, "Yes Matt, that's exactly the reason."

"Do you even know I love you?" He challenges me.

"No, I don't even know anymore," I reply, I'm pissed at him so I'm not going to be nice to him.

"Okay," He whispers, I can hear he's choked up.

I look at him to see tears on his eyes

I ran up to him and gave him a hug, i feel so bad for hurting him. I cry into his chest whilst I hold him tight. I have to go for a few days, get things right and we can start a fresh.

"Don't be mad baby," I whisper into his ear.

"Luce, yes I'm angry because your leaving me and you don't think I love you anymore, " Matt replies.

"Well I'll pack my bags now. But I'm going tomorrow. Matty I'm so sorry."

He leaves my room, he waves a small wave. I wave back. I start packing; I take out my flannel check shirt and my shorts. I take our a few more things like a top and a pair of jeans, oh and a few socks. I have converse and ankle boots at my sister's, so that's okay.

I'll cook something for his dinner that will last two days. We can have pizza tonight, I hope.