The concerts were great but awkward everyone was screaming and touching Matt. I was just there like 'awkwaaaard'. He kept smiling at me the whole way through his concert like he couldn't forget I was there. I stayed with his brother and my friends during the concert, he is just so cute; I haven't spoken to Louis in ages he's actually really funny. And I'm Matty's girlfriend i know.
But after i don't know what the fuck happened; like we got really pissed at the party but when we got to the flat he just went to bed and he hasn't spoken to me since...and that was a bloody week ago. He texted me yesterday telling me to go home and that he wasn't good for me. So right now i'm with mum, and god she's boring, like she just gives me coffee and coffee and coffee. I have on average 4 coffees a day with mum and i can really see the aging in my skin, or is it relationship stress. God help me now.
i texted matt this morning i told him that i was coming back like tomorrow but he was like no, cuz i'll just treat you bad and not love you. Maybe he has bypolar? Honestly he is something else like one day we are making love then the next we're not bloody talking. I think maybe it's my fault - stressing that i'm feeling like just his friend not a girlfriend, holy shit i didn't know he was so bloody sensetive.
i'll leave him for a while then i'll come back and ask him why the fuck he's in his mood, but nicely. i want him to be open to me but instead he cuts me off from life around him...like why and i'm meant to be going to his band practice on tuesday and i will but i need to talk to him first. I can't wait to see George and Adam and Ross they're like my best mates. I need to ask them if anything's been going on with matty.
YOU ARE READING
I need you to love me
Hayran Kurgu"Why can't you just stay, did I never love you enough?" "Yes Matt, that's exactly the reason. "
