Domestic Husbands

Chapter 15

I actually walk home now but stop off once more. Just to the shop this time. After receiving that card and the day I've had, I definitely need a few beers and I bet Cal wouldn't say no to one either. (or more than one, let's be honest)

Anyway, I finally get home and shut the door. It must have been loud as i felt the vibrations which meant it was more of a slam than a shut! I walk upstairs quietly, expecting to see Cal in the living room so I could scare him but I turn the corner and he isn't there. Strange.

I walk to the bedroom after putting the beer in the fridge and he's in bed asleep. Damm it's only 6:30. Anyway, I decided to let him rest and go back into the kitchen. I make myself a cup of tea and check through the mail on the side while the kettle boils. A letter addressed to me? It must be important, it's addressed to Benjamin Mitchell. I guess this makes my move into the highway flat official?! I've never had mail sent here before. How did they get this address? I go to open it but at the same time the light on the kettle goes off which means the waters boiled. I bring the letter over to the kettle and push the handle down for a second time which gives me time to open the letter. Inside is another card.

Ben,

Hi hun,

Les and I know you too well. We thought you might reject our card sent to your mum's and so we got Jay to send us another address for you. Obviously he chose Callum's flat. (not that we needed the address) We also knew if we put your full name you would open it!

Anyway, thinking of you during this time. Remember you and Callum are always welcome to come and stay with us by the sea. I think Paul would like that. He would be so proud and happy for you.

Lots of love

Pam and Les xx

I am frozen to the spot for a few seconds before I come back to myself and see the kettle light has gone off again. I finally make my tea, take the card and sit on the sofa. I don't do anything. I just sit there in silence, getting stuck in my head, sipping my tea every so often so it doesn't go cold.

I don't know how long I was sat like that but after a while Stuart comes to the kitchen. He sees me and walks towards me, sitting down on the arm of the chair.

Stuart: you alright Ben?

Ben: erm yeah.. you?

Stuart: yeah not to bad. Not as bad as Cal anyway.

I start to properly pay attention at this.

Ben: *worried* Callum? Is he ok?

Stuart: yeah *awkward laughing* ...he just got a bit drunk this afternoon with Jay. He's been in bed sleeping it off for a few hours. He should be waking up soon.

Ben: *breathes* you had me worried. Wait, getting drunk in the day? At work with Jay? Having PTSD flashbacks?

Stuart: yeah.. I know it's not normal. He got home early too, about 4ish? He was proper gone tho. I haven't seen him that drunk in a long time. It was mad.

*Looks at time* Right *slaps his knees* I'm going to go back to my room, continue watching the football. West Ham are winning.

I down the rest of my tea and turn on the TV. I decide to put on Hannah Montana (as we have Disney+) while waiting for Cal. After a few episodes he emerged from the bedroom. I didn't see him so I am only aware of his presence when he kisses me on my head.

Callum: hi babe

Ben: hey. How you doing? Stuart had me worried.

Callum: yeah I'm not to bad. Still feel a little tipsy. I guess Jay and I must have drank a lot

Ben: go get a glass of water babe and come sit down. I'll finish this episode and then we can watch something we both like. How does that sound?

Callum: good to me. What are you watch... *Starts the sentence and looks at the TV*

Ah Hannah Montana. *Joking*Ben Babe you really are the definitely of gay. Can't believe you ever thought you were straight!

Ben: *jokingly* ah shut up. You can't speak babe. You got engaged to Whit! Now let me finish this.

Callum walks to the kitchen and pours a glass of water. He walks over again.

Ben: it's been 2 minutes! I still haven't finished. There is only 10 minutes left!

Callum: I was going to ask..do you want some food? I was going to make a toastie.

Ben: Yes please!

Callum: Cheese and Ham ok with you?

Ben: yes. Now go away!!

This time he's leaves and comes back a few minutes later with a plate stacked with toasties and 2 glasses of coke. One in his hand and one sort of between his body and his arm. It looks unsteady!

I kiss him to say thank you and he walks towards the bathroom. I only have a few minutes left so it'll be done by the time he's back. He's back just as the credits start. What good timing! He sits next to me, leaning on me like I often do to him, and we stick on some hero film. He sees the card and picks it up. He sits up and faces me.

Callum: Who's it from?

Ben: it's nothing.

Callum: it was sent here so it must be important.

Ben: it's from Pam and Les. It's about Paul.

Callum: Can I read it?

I shrug my shoulders in approval.

Callum: *reads it* Babe why didn't you tell me

Ben: because it doesn't matter. It's just a day isn't it. What's happened is in the past. 4 years in the past to be precise.

Callum: I know you don't think that Ben. I'm ok with you talking to me about him you know.

Ben: there is nothing to talk about. *Turns focus back to the film and turns the audio up to make a point to Callum*

Callum takes the hint and leans his head back on my body. He continues watching the film with me but I can feel him staring at me. The atmosphere has changed in the room. We finish up the film without speaking a word. I do the washing up and we get ready for bed in complete silence. Lying in bed, I take off my glasses and take out my hearing aid, putting them on the table beside the bed. The last thing we say that night, like every night without fail, is we sign I Love You to each other before a good night kiss and he turns out the lights. It may be awkward but we never fail to do it and tonight is no different.