Broken Memories

Chapter Ten

I wake with a start at the sound of my mobile buzzing. I check the number, it's Jason!
I take a deep breath to calm the butterflies that have suddenly invaded my stomach.
"Hey!... How are you? I say, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Hiya Beccy! I'm good thanks" replied Jason.
"How was the album launch?" I ask, genuinely interested to hear how things had gone.
"It was brilliant. Really, really good. The fans even knew the words to the new songs!" Jason explained, sounding surprised at the devotion of their ever loyal fans.
"Wow, that is dedication! How did they find out the words? Didn't it only come out yesterday morning?" Beccy was surprised and somewhat impressed with the Take That fans ingenuity.
"Yes it did. They must have downloaded the album at Midnight and listened to it on repeat!" Jason explained smiling at the idea.
I laughed, not unkindly but it did seem a bit extreme.
"Are they still so... dedicated about the band... about you and the others" I ask a bit nervously. I remember Jay saying how mad some of the fans were in the 90s but they were teenagers then. Surely now as the fans are older, they'd be a bit more... restrained?
I feel a little nervous. When we were together before it was after Take That had split up so I have no direct experience of what it was like for them - or their girlfriends.
"Yes the fans are very loyal" Jason explained "which we are very grateful for as a band. We wouldn't have had the success we've had this time round otherwise, but I guess you mean do the fans bother us away from the band?"
"Yes. Do they still go to your homes and wait around all day"
I feel I need to know. After all if Jay does ask me out, will we have to dodge the fans? Oh and what about the paps? Do they still follow them? I start to feel very apprehensive about things.

I have just been wondering if there was a chance we could try again but had completely missed out the fact he's back in the public eye. Would things work if he's always being recognised? Would I feel ok about being pictured in the newspaper or gossiped about in the magazines or online? It sent a chill through me.

"Well... usually we get left alone by fans, most of them are very good now. They understand we have private lives, but there are always one or two who are a bit extreme..." Jason trails off.

"Oh I see" I say, but think, extreme? In what way? I decide to change the subject. I've been excited/nervous about this phone call and it is getting diverted by Jason's job. I don't want to be spending all this call talking to Jay about his work or their crazy fans!

So I ask, "anyway, do you have any plans for the week?" I expected him to talk about the lunch date he'd been so keen about arranging but instead Jason seems tongue-tied,
"Oh, um, not really, " the change of subject seems to have caught him off guard.
Jason then asks me, "have you any plans this week" he sounds a bit subdued now.
I don't understand. I really hope I haven't messed things up by being a bit off about their fans.
"No, not at the moment. Just work and then a meal for one," I reply, laughing slightly trying to lift the mood.
"Oh, ok. So you're busy with work?" Jason, seems to be looking for an excuse to end the call!
Quickly I say, "yes but only in the day. The evenings are my own"
"Oh that's good" Jason replies in a neutral tone.
What's going on? He seemed really happy when he rang? What have I done wrong?
Surely it's not because I questioned the sanity of some of their fans?

"Well, I better go. Have to unpack and water the garden,"
Jason, shocks me out of my thoughts.
"What?!" I almost shout down the phone. I hear Jay make a surprised sound on the other end.
The passengers in the carriage on the train stare at me. I feel myself going a bit red.
"Sorry, I couldn't hear you" I fib.
Jason repeats his excuse and this time says goodbye!

I limply say goodbye back and he hangs up. I stare at the phone. I feel numb.

What just happened? Did I really just lose a second chance of happiness with Jason?