Mobile Legends: Bang Bang Oneshots, Incorrect Quotes, Headcanons and Others!

(• ▽ •;)//incorrect quotes

[WARNING: SWEAR WORDS]

Karina: Last week, we just lost a friend and a part of my family. My dear sister, Selena.
Selena, across the room: Stop telling everybody I'm dead!
Karina: I can still hear her voice sometimes..
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Silvanna: How much sleep did you get?
Dyrroth: Eight.
Silvanna: Eight hours?
Dyrroth: Minutes.
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Granger: The stars are beautiful..
Gusion: Yeah.
Granger: Do you know who else is beautiful?
Gusion: Who?
Granger and Gusion, at the same time: ALUCARD-
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Kimmy: Come on, I wasn't that drunk.
Fanny: You literally tried to color my face with a highlighter because you said I was 'important'.
Kimmy: That's 'cause you ARE, duh.
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Harley: Can't you just see things from my perspective?
Lesley:
Lesley: *crouches down*
Harley: Not like that!
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Chang'e, sipping apple juice out of a champagne glass, looking in the distance dramatically: I've had it.
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Kimmy: Sir, who's your favorite member of the team?
Tigreal: Why, I appreciate all of them, of course.
Tigreal: Silvanna, Harith, Alucard, Fanny, and of course,
Tigreal:*looks at smudged hand writing*
Tigreal: Grenade.
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Wanwan: It's four in the morning, what are you doing?
Ling: Drowning in my self hate as I desperately try to do anything to keep my mind off of all my deepest and darkest fears.
Wanwan:
Ling:
Wanwan: I-
Ling: Aha, I'm just kidding. I'm making grilled cheese, want one?
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Moskov: Always expect the unexpe-
Helcurt: *slaps* You didn't expect that, did you?
Moskov: I DIDN'T EVEN FINISH MY-
Helcurt: *slaps again*
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Thamuz: It's pretty muggy today.
Alice: I swear, if all the mugs are outside I'm going to kill you.
Thamuz: *sips coffee from a bowl*
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Slivanna: For the last time, it's a cauliflower, not a 'ghost brocoli'.
Dyrroth, staring blankly at a wall: I know what I saw.
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Popol: Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?
Lylia: Okay, but in my defense, Harley bet me 100 BP I couldn't drink all that shampoo.
Popol: That's not what I- WAIT, you drank SHAMPOO?!
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Yu Zhong: Luo Yi put salt in my coffee 'cause I annoyed her, but I'm petty so I'm going to drink it anyway because I won't let her win.
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Kimmy: You use emojis like a straight person.
Claude: That is, hands down, the worst thing anyone has ever told me.
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Lancelot: How are you still alive?
Fanny: I honestly have no idea.
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Harley: Great job, I never doubted you for a second!
Nana: Thanks- but you're lying, right?
Harley: Yes. I doubted you very strongly.
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Priest: You may now kiss the bride.
Lancelot & Odette: *about to kiss, but is interrupted by Lance placing his finger against her lips*
Lancelot: F-R-I-E-N-D-S. WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.
The boys and Lance: SO DON'T GO LOOKIN' ME W-
Odette: *visible confusion*
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Chang'e: *crying because she burnt her hand*
Zilong: Aw, what happened?
Wanwan: *dying of laughter because she told her blue fire was cold*
[don't do this obv]
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Layla: Imagine a calico cat.
Layla: Now a tabby.
Ruby: Slow down, I'm still working on the last one.
Layla: Sorry.
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Johnson: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Angela: Maybe a little bit tipsy?
Saber: Drunk
Bruno: Wasted
Alpha: d e a d -
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Vexana: Ugh, I hate you!
Faramis: I hate myself too. You're not special.
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Claude: Why do people think I'm incapable of doing anything nice? :(
Fanny: Experience.
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Alpha, muttering: I'd date you..
Saber: Sorry, what?
Alpha: I'm straight! You?
Saber: *intense sweating*
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Ruby: Alright, Angela, you can stop calling me 'cute' now. It's annoying.
Angela: Aww, but you are! :)
Ruby: >:[
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Hayabusa: ..Did you just flirt with me?
Hanabi: I have been for the past year, but thanks for noticing.
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Gusion: Hey Harley, are you okay?
Harley: Yeah, I'm good. Haven't slept for a solid 83 hours, but uh, yeah I'm good.
Gusion:
Gusion: *softly* harley, no.
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Thamuz: If any of you move, Harith dies!
Fanny, Alucard, Tigreal, Silvanna, Granger: *try their hardest not to move*
Nana, Lylia and Harley: *wearing sunglasses and dancing*
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Alucard: that's why your shoes raggedy-
Moskov: that's why yo momma dead.
Alucard:
Moskov: dead as hell.
Alucard: *starts to cry*
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Masha: Want me to leave so you can say bad words?
Popol: That would be nice..
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Chou: I know this isn't gonna end well and I don't care. So don't you try and stop me, Kaja!
Kaja: I didn't plan on stopping you. I was gonna ask if you had a spare camera, so I can record this.
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Harith: If I hit you harder, then good. That means I win.
Nana: 'Win'?! This isn't some kind of competition!
Harith: Everything is a competition, and those who think otherwise are people who lose.
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Lesley: So, who would you stab? Helcurt or-
Benedetta: Helcurt.
Lesley: You didn't let me fini-
Benedetta: Didn't need to. It's Helcurt.
Helcurt:
Helcurt: I'm feeling a little..unsafe.
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Hanzo: As your best friend-
Hanabi: Kagura is my best friend.
Hanzo: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND-
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Zilong: Aw, the power went out.
Chang'e: Don't worry, I got this!
Chang'e: *shakes rapidly and begins to illuminate*
Chang'e: I swallowed a flashlight!
Zilong, on the verge of cardiac arrest: WHY WOULD YOU-
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Chang'e: Man, I love mangos, but I hate it when they make my mouth all itchy and irritated.
Ling: Maybe you're allergic.
Chang'e: Who's allergic? I'm Chang'e.
Ling, turning to Zilong: How did you mess up this bad-
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"Give me one reason I shouldn't punch your face in."

Lesley: You shouldn't hit me. Not because I'm a woman, but because I'll kick your ass.
Badang: When you punch me, I'm going to hold up a bucket infront of my face, then your fist will punch the inside of an empty bucket and you'll look ridiculous.
Kagura: Wounding me emotionally would pay much higher dividends.
Dyrroth: My mom specifically instructed me to have a good day today.
Selena: I'm so underdressed.
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Gusion: Have you ever fallen in love, Granger?
Granger: I can't even fall asleep.
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Gord: Are you getting enough sleep, Miss Eudora?
Eudora: sometimes, I close my eyes when I sneeze.
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Claude, in danger: We're DOOMED!
Kimmy: Well, you've lived a good life, right?
Claude: B-But I'm only 21!
Kimmy: I said good, not long.
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Dyrroth: I'm having..a headache with pictures.
Argus: Wha-?
Moskov: He's havin' an idea.
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Odette: *yawns*
Lancelot: Ah, it must be hard being pretty.
Odette, without batting an eye: Then you must be exhausted.
Lancelot: *blushes intensely*
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Layla: Haha, I'd totally kiss you right now, if you weren't my bestfriend.
Natalia: We're not bestfriends.
Layla: Huh?
Natalia: We are not bestfriends.
Layla: What do you mea-
Natalia: WE are NOT BESTFRIENDS. WHERE'S MY KISS?!
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Roger: God help the person who ends up dating Ruby.
Angela: But..I'm dating Ruby.
Roger: My condolences.
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Lunox: *unbuttoning shirt* God, it's so hot in here.
Leomord: I get that, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?
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Chang'e: Hey! Did you eat my powdered donuts?!
Wanwan, with a mouth full of donuts: Wha-?! No!
Chang'e: Oh yeah? Then what's that powder on your skirt?!
Wanwan:
Wanwan: Cocaine.
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Badang: Why are you naked?
Lapu-Lapu: I..I don't have any clothes.
Badang: What do you mean you don't have any clothes?
Badang, opening his closet: You have T-shirts, jackets, sweaters, Hi Yi Sun Shin, sweatpants, etc.
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Lesley, opening the shower curtains: Yo, what do you want for breakfast honey?
Gusion, screaming: PRIVACY!
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Killer: I can see you.
Lancelot: Oh.
Killer:
Lancelot:
Lancelot: ..Do I look good?
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Roger, losing his shit, literally: RUBY?!
Ruby: Yeah?
Roger: WHY AREN'T THE PLATES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!
Ruby: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, DAD?!
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Hanabi: ARGH, I HATE all of YOU! I'm NEVER talking to any of you AGAIN!
Hanabi, not even a minute later: *proceeds to start kissing everyone's forehead goodnight* Goodnight Kagura, love you, Goodnight Haya, love you aswell, Goodnight Hanzo, Goodnight Saber, Goodnight Lesley, Goodnight Angela, etc...
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Badang: Okay, kiss the prettiest person or persons in the room.
Hayabusa: Hey Hanzo?
Hanzo, blushing: Yes?
Hayabusa: Move. I'm trying to get to Kagura and Hanabi.
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X.borg: So, what are your strengths?
Claude: I fall in love easily.
X.borg: Okay then, so what are your weaknesses?
Claude: Those beautiful eyes of yours.
X.borg: I-excuse me?
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Lesley: What are you doing?
Harley, standing on a chair: I live in this house too, so I can stand wherever I want, okay?
Lesley: *sighs* Where's the cockroach?
Harley:
Harley: ...Underneath the table.
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Nana: Lylia is CHOKING! I need to dial 911 but the 9 button isn't WORKING!
Harith: Turn it upside down and use the 6!
Nana: GENIUS!
Lylia, who stopped choking for a second: WHAT THE FUCK?!
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[aAAAAAAAAAAA

sjsjskxnd ckosaancndhc ck osn

i,,,,

am,,,,

lazy.

and busy.

mostly stuff to do with my channel that im starting out, and this oneshot that im having a block with lol

-DelDei]