All That I Have Written

CHAPTER 4

As I lay in my bed,
your name's running through my head.
All I can think of is you,
all that you do

The feelings that I felt earlier as we talked together remained with me. Until I got home I remained anxious but the smile on my lips didn't fade.

When I got home I saw our maids one by one entering some belongings. Then my butler also immediately met me at the door.

"Good Evening Sir Xion! Mukhang napakasaya nyo ngayon? Maganda kasi ang pagkakangiti mo." She greeted me.

And for the first time, I gave her a big smile

"Buti na lamang at nakauwi na kayo. Nandito ho kasi ang mga magulang niyo po at may maganda silang balita sa inyo." She said.

And then, my mood changed quickly when I heard what she said. My forehead kneels to my butler as she tells that my parents have a good news for me.

"Sakto ho ang dating niyo dahil handa na ang hapunan at hinihintay ka ho nila sa loob." She said. "Akin na ho ang gamit ninyo at kami na lang po ang mag-aakyat sa itaas. Dumiretso na ho kayo sa dining area dahil kanina pa po kayo nila inaantay."

"Thank you." That's all I can say.

Then I go straight into the dining area. I found my parents eating.

"Good Evening." I greeted them.

"Good Evening Son. Join us. " My mom offered. I took a deep breath before sitting down in front of them.

"Xion, we have good news for you." she said immediately.

I was looking at my parents as I wait for their good news for me. "We are staying here for good." She said it happily. My eyes widened at what she had said. "Well, we have done everything we need to do abroad so we have nothing to worry about. So here we are staying for good. Are you happy about that?" But they were just shocked as they looked at me.

I should be happy with their good news. But why is anger growing in my chest?

"Xion? Aren't you happy about it?" My mom asked.

I gave them my strained smile. "I don't know." I said.

"Why?" My mom looks worried.

"Well, I'm so used to seeing you only three times a year. Then you suddenly tell me that you were staying for good, so that you could be with me again? I don't know what to say. " I answered her rudely.

"So are you saying that you don't want to be with us?" My father asked. I can see anger in his eyes but it never scared me.

"What do you think dad?" I asked him back.

He just stared at me. But he also gave up on our exchange of views.

I sighed.

We had a quiet dinner. No one spokes. All you can hear is the sound of the silverwares.

As I finished my food, I immediately went up to my room, and lay my body on the bed. I silently stared at the ceiling. I want to cry but no tears come from my eyes

I don't understand myself.

I should be happy, but why is my anger just getting worse? I always wish that I had been with them for so long. But why is it that when they already here I just want to ignore them? I want to release the anger that covers my heart, but where? The only thing I care about is gone.