I Have To Protect Them - Cleofis Drisen

Chapter One: I'm Dying Part 2

About a week after I was released for the hospital I did everything I could to cut my friends loose. I had to make them hate me, and hurt them as mush as possible...especially Grizz. Gareth 'Grizz' Visser was my best friend and we shared almost all of our secrets. I have also  had a crush on him since I can remember. We have neighbors forever and his parents treated me like I was one of their own. His mom would drive us to and from school until we were old enough to walk alone. I remember everything from when I cut him off..I called him and asked him to meet me at our secret meeting place under the bleachers by the football field. "I can't be friends with you anymore and I can't keep lying to you." I said with a sigh. He furrowed his brow at me, clearly wanting me to go on. "I can't stand you. You are the most annoying know-it-all-" he cit me off. "What are you talking about!?" He said bewildered. "You're my best friend! This isn't you..." He trailed off. He tried to grab my hands, but I shook my head and quickly stepped away from hi,. I had to stay strong to make this work. "It is me and I'm sorry I pretended to like you, but you're just relentless and I can't take it anymore." I trailed off and ignored my tears. I looked away from his teary eyes as he whispered, "why are you really doing this?" I replied, "I hate you and I never want to see you again." I started to cry and I walked away from him as fast as my shaking legs would take me. I could literally feel my heart breaking with every step I took. I knew that I'd hurt him because I told him all of his biggest fears of what everyone might think of him. The next day our friend Clark and Jason called me and gave me shit. I told them that I didn't want to be friends with a complete imbecile, Clark, or a douchebag manwhore, Jason. They called me every bad name they could, and told me that I wasn't good enough to be their friend.

Luke an Helena were mad at me for what I'd done too, but I knew Helena's good heart would eventually forgive me, so I pushed her further away by calling her a 'Christian prude that needed to have sex already to loosen the f**k up.' I knew that she was a proud Christian and was waiting till marriage to to have sex. The second those words left my lips she started crying and Luke got in my face. He pushed me and yelled at me to leave, so I did. The football team, except for Grizz and Luke, started bullying me by bumping into me when they passed me, calling me horrible names, and making up rumors about me sleeping around. 

The first time a football player I didn't know bumped into me and called me a whore, Greg pushed hum back yelling "big strong guy picking on a sic-." I cut Greg and grabbed his arm. "Greg back off now." I yelled. Greg stopped at the tone of my voice, and my eyes wandered over his shoulder to the group of jocks behind him. Grizz was behind everyone and his eyes didn't meet mine. I felt my heart crack at the look of his face. I pulled Greg down the hall, past Kelly and Harry who were making out against the lockers. I pushed his against the wall. "What the-" he started to say but I cut him off. "You have to let it go." I said. "If you don't, everyone is gong to suspect something is wrong." His brows knitted together, and I could tell he was angry as he spoke "but I am not going to let those beasts treat you-" I sighed. "You have to. Besides, I deserve it. It's all my fault and you promised to keep your mouth shut. So please just do as I ask because I can't take anymore." I felt my eyes begin to water and he quickly grabbed me into a tight hug. "Ok ok. I'm sorry. I will not say another word about you to anyone. I will be here to protect you till the end." He whispered as he began to stroke my hair. 

I had one more friend to cut off, Kelly. I had to push her away harshly because she is a genuinely sweet and kind person. I knew that it was between her and Helena of whom would the nicest person in the school. Like I had done with everyone else, I told her that I didn't want to be her friend anymore. Then I told her that I hated her 'stuck up prissy ass' and that I was sleeping with her boyfriend, Harry. To be honest, I never really liked Harry, and I only hung out with him because he was dating Kelly. He's a rich stuck up asshole that always tries to buy his way through life. I think they both know I was lying because they are still together. Kelly did ask me about it once. She said that she didn't believe any of my lies, and she's figured out that I had basically said the same thing to everyone. I tried to brush it off by telling her I just didn't like any of our friends. She then said that f I was willing to try and wreck her relationship that she didn't need a friend like that. I got the feeling that she knew something was going on, and I think she knew how mush this was hurting me. That was all of my closest friends; and I had pushed them all away. It killed me how they looked at me, and being in constant pain didn't help.