If I Fall

Chapter Fourteen

April returned back to Sydney the following week. She thanked Kenai for everything and promised to visit again soon. She stood in the arrivals lounge and waited for her ride. 

"Let's go" April didn't want to turn around. She closed her eyes and tried to recollect her breath.

"A, come on let's go" She felt him take her suitcase off her.

"Hi Roger,"  she turned around and saw him. To say he looked out of it was an understatement. He had large bags under his eyes and although he looked good, she could sense he was tired in more way than one. He stretched out his arms, April sighed once again before leaning in and giving him a hug. They kept the hug going for a while. April did miss him. 

He didn't say much as continued to lead her to his car. And this continued the whole ride home. April didn't want to argue with Roger so she decided to take a nap. If he wanted to be childish than she was going to let him. 

April heard his car door open and close which caused her to wake up.

They were at his house.

"Take me home" April crossed her arm over her chest.

"Come inside so we can talk" He stood outside her car door. April let out another giant sigh before following him inside. She sat on the couch and waited for him to come back into the living room. He returned a few minutes later without a shirt. April rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at him. She knew what he was doing. Roger took a seat beside her and swung his arm over his shoulder. April screamed at her body for giving up and getting comfortable with him.

"What's going on with us?" She pouted.

"I love you" 

"I love you too. But why do you ignore me" She grabbed his hands and held them tightly as she looked into his eyes. 

"I missed you" He placed a hand on her cheek. 

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April cringed waking up to find herself butt-naked. The sun began to go down whilst Roger remained to sleep beside her. She mentally slapped herself for succumbing to her physical desires before her mental and emotional needs were met. 

She scanned around the room trying to find all her clothes and got dressed. Good thing Roger was still asleep, she didn't want to know what would happen if he awoke. April grabbed a piece of paper and left behind a note before driving back home in his car.

We shouldn't have slept together before we solved whatever was going on here. But Roger I don't think we should be together. I need (more) space away from you to heal my heart after you broke it. I can't forget about the way you've treated me over the last few weeks. I'm taking your car but I'll get Chris and Sefa to return it. Reach out to me if you ever need anything. Please take care of yourself mentally and don't lose yourself in temporary fixes. I'll always love you - April 

April felt amazing walking back inside her own house. Her mother let out a cry of happiness. Christian celebrated Aprils return in his own way and gave his sister a hug. She missed her family. The three sat at the dinner table as April opened up about her trip. She updated them on how their Hawaiian family was doing and mentioned her newfound hobby of surfing. She definitely was happy being with her family again. 

Later that night April knocked on Chris' door.

"Do me a favour."  - April released a Cheshire cat grin to try and get him to help her. 

"What" 

"Come with me to return Rogers car and we'll ride back in mine" April pouted trying to get her brother to agree. 

"Wait. What's going on with yous" Chris raised a brow. April kept asking herself the same stupid question.

"We're not together" She shrugged throwing his keys at Chris.

"Wait but how do you have his car then. Wait did he pick you up?" This only made Chris more confused, trying to figure out what was happening with his sister.

"Please just do this". April remained in the car the whole time whilst Chris did the exchange. She even hid a little bit so Roger wouldn't try to talk to her. She made sure that in the unlikely event of Roger walking to her car, she would speed off and come back later for Chris. 

"You guys are so weird," Chris said as he sat inside the passenger's seat. April just shrugged once again as she sped off. 

"Okay now tell me the particulars." Chris turned down the radio.

"There are no particulars. We aren't together anymore so that's that. "

"Is that it forever?" 

"I don't know. It's just for a while I guess. Whatever happens happens" 

Chris decided to stay quiet. He didn't want to push her buttons and end up having April raging at him. April didn't even know what to say. She was upset and angry and confused and it was all because of Roger.

I mean why wasn't love easy. She loved Roger and he loved her back so why was it so hard to make things work? What was wrong with this generation as a whole. She had officially left Roger yet she still had the thought of turning around and running back into his arms.

She was in love with him.

She couldn't ignore that no matter how hard she tried to bury it. That was the truth and no matter how painful it was, it was still the truth. April missed the turn home and drove all the way to the cemetery. Christian didn't mind because it had been a while since he visited his brother and he missed him too.

April started breaking down crying when they reached his headstone. She was crying from all the frustration and all the hurt and pain that was harboured in over the last month. Chris hadn't seen his sister cry this much since Jasons funeral. 

"I wish you were here Jase. You would know what to do. And Liz. Both of you would've known exactly what to do in my situation" she sighed wiping her tears away. It hurt and she knew it hurt but what more could she do. 

April needed to detach herself from Roger ultimately so that things would be easier. Not like they didn't spend the last year and a bit together or that he was indeed her first everything. 

"Why is love so stupid" she muttered crying into Christians shoulder.