why not write for why don't we

zdh

summery~ you and zach have been going on a few dates and have been inseparable since. but one day you start to feel insecure and start having doubts which gets zach worried.

s/o to corey la barrie for "oh wells over what ifs" rest in peace angel.
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*texts*

zach: u coming over today?? *11:14 a.m.*
zach: ??? *12:06 a.m*
zach: y/n? everything okay? *12:30 a.m*
zach: love i see you are reading these whats wrong? *1:20 a.m.*
zach: did i do something? you can talk to me *1:27 a.m*

*9 missed calls from zach and 17 new text messages*

*knock knock*

i walk to my front door looking through the peep hole to see a worried zach. i hesitantly open the door and before i can say anything he engulfs me into his arms

why aren't you returning my text or calls?? he says his face nuzzled into my hair

i didn't hug him back though, not after what i've been feeling. i just stood their awkwardly and i think he noticed.

he pulls back finally and i shut the door and just walk past him back to my previous spot on my couch.

did i do something? he says taking a seat next to me

no is all i say

well can you tell me what's wrong so i can help you zach says pulling me into his arms and i couldn't help but just sink into him taking his scent in.

i've just been thinking a lot maybe a little too much i say taking a deep breath as i feel the weight that was once on my shoulders now lifted off just from seconds of being with this boy.

can i know what's on your mind? he asks softly

just you and me...us i say

where they good thoughts?

i don't answer

he pulls away looking at me with questioning eyes

i like you but i don't know if this is can go further i say breaking eye contact

zach shakes his head and scoffs a little

wow is all he says before walking out and slamming the door shut

*hours later*

corbyn: y/n what did you do to zach

me: wdym?

corbyn: he left telling us he was going to your house and not even an hour later came back slamming every door and hasn't came out of his room since

me: i might have told him i didn't think him and i would go any further

corbyn: y/n what the hell????

me: look corbs him and i were a long shot, we always were and you know it

corbyn: no i don't y/n. you guys are so good for each other i dont know where these negative thoughts are coming from literally last week you where telling me how much you liked him.

me: people change corbyn

corbyn: you always do this...

me: excuse me?

corbyn: you back out y/n. when things get difficult or the slightest bit confusing you dip. you do it in relationships, friendships, even simple commitments like a day job, or trying out for the soccer team when you we were in highschool. i think you are really really scared of commitment and failure.

me: okay corbyn it isn't that deep

corbyn: maybe it's a subconscious thing i really don't know but you tend to ruin good things before they can ruin you. i don't like bringing up your parents because i know it is a really touchy subject but i've known you since your dad left and even before when they would always have screaming arguments and you would come to my house because you couldn't sleep. them fighting to your dad leaving i think you are scared of people walking out on you. you're scared you are going to turn into your parents. but y/n you CANNOT live like that anymore. no more what if's only oh wells y/n.

me: bestfriends really do know you more than you know your own self sometimes don't they???

corbyn: get your ass over here and talk to my boy

me: already on my way

i knock on the door and corbyn opens it up and gives me a big hug.

he's upstairs he says

thanks corbs love you i say before walking to zachs room

i walk in and he is laying in his bed under his covers

hey i say sitting next to him

he quickly pulls the covers off his head realizing it was me who walked in not one of the boys.

why are you here he says still surprised

i just wanted to apologize... i um had a talk with corbyn and he just made me realize some things and how stupid i was for giving up on us.

what did he make you realize?

just that i-uh run out on people before they run out on me... that i ruin things before they ruin me i say laughing at how stupid i actually am

zach sits up his eyes softening as he leans in for a hug but i deny it

no... i-i want to be honest with you i want to open up like you have with me i say and he just smiles and nods as he sits up to turn towards me completely

tell me everything you want y/n, i will always listen.

well i've told you about my parents split and stuff and that i only lived with my mom but i didn't tell you how bad and ugly it all was. i say

they would always have like screaming matches just completely go at each other and it sounds dumb now but sometimes i thought they were going to hurt each other like physically i mean i was only 7 i continue

y/n im so sorry he says holding my hand

no dont be it isnt you fault at all

i would always go over to the neighbors house when i couldn't sleep on school nights because their kids went to the same school as me. thats how me and corbyn got so close i say smiling softly

one day they were in a huge argument and i heard a door slam and a car skidd off and i looked out my window and saw my dads car gone. i went to bed and woke up and it still wasnt there. my mom was crying that whole morning and just told me she didnt think he would come back this time. i still had hope though. i would look out my window every morning hoping his car would be back in our driveway but it never was. i ended up giving up hope and never looked out the window again.

i guess seeing their awful relationship and my dad walking out on me and my mom i just somehow turned into him and tried to walk out on you i say tearing up thinking about what an awful person i am

no no no come here love he says pulling me onto him stroking my hair

you are not your father y/n. you are here with me now recognizing your actions and from what you just told me. thats something your father failed to do. you past doesn't have to be your future zach says before pressing a kiss on my forehead, whipping my tears away and then placing a peck on my lips.

i am so so sorry zach, i am all in for you... for us i whisper and a huge grin forms on his face being tackling me with kisses.