Maybe I was too good for you, maybe you are the one who is going to regret letting go of my hand, maybe at some point you will realize how much I cared, how much we could have been and how hard I tried. Maybe you will see that you had everything in the palm of your hand, but you crushed it in your hands, letting the crumbles fall onto the road, for it to wash away with the rain. Maybe, some day, you will realize I was the best thing that has ever happened to you and maybe someday you will regret every word that made my stomach turn and break my heart into a million of pieces, maybe someday you'll see what you did and how I never deserved that and perhaps, some day, you will want to apologize, because this revelation is stuck in your mind, haunting you, and in a way you want to make it okay again, make us okay again and maybe then I will say you are too late and I was too good for you and maybe you'll realize it's true, that I was too good to you, that you didn't deserve me either.
I gave you my heart, my soul, hoping that maybe if I gave you something, you'd give something back, like two small children sharing their toys, but you never gave something back, you didn't. Maybe you didn't know how, maybe you believe everyone is on their knees for you and you are the king. But you're not. And even though I love you so much and I care for you so much, I can't live like this, I can't give and give and give without getting something back, without feeling wanted or cared for. So this is the reason why I left, like the leafs leave the trees and the birds leave their parents, wishing for someday they would come back but never will.
I'm going to say goodbye to you now. I should've done that a long time ago, but I didn't. I wanted to hold on to you, hold on to us, hold on our memories. I was scared that if I let go, I would never get you back. I know that somehow we both deserve better and I am better off this way, but this sinking feeling in my stomach, the feeling of hope, the hope of a happy ending, of us being together after so long, was still there. I didn't realize that I held on too tightly and that too could be a reason someone walks away, not caring or caring too much. I'll still feel sad sometimes, when I see you and the memories suddenly haunt me for the rest of the day or when I sit in a plane or hear the sound of a motor. But I am okay, even then I will be okay, a little sad, but okay, because last week when I saw you, instead of walking to you and make small talk, even though we both know that would be awkward as hell but nice in a way, I didn't, I walked past you, like we were both strangers walking to our destiny. Honestly, I almost did, I almost walked up to you, I already was desperately trying to find conversation ideas, but then I'd realized, sometimes letting go is the way to your happy ending, so I did, I had finally let you go, so this is a goodbye, after all this time, I need to let go of you, of us.
