This is Love: A Haikyuu FanFic

Chapter 1: Eat

🥀"The feeling of hunger gave me a sense of calm and control, but behind my smile and thinner form, I was miserable"🥀

"That's it for today guys. Please enjoy your weekend and stay safe!"

Kenma felt like he had waited forever to hear those words. He hadn't paid much attention in class that day. He honestly never paid attention in class anymore. He couldn't, especially since he was almost always out of it. The perc he had taken earlier that school day was starting to wear off, and he was beginning to come back to reality. He hated that.

As all the other students packed up their things, Kenma rushed out of the classroom and down the hall. He was tempted to just go home and get to his drugs as soon as possible, but he knew Kuroo would lose his mind if he wasn't at practice. He eventually just settled on taking the pills he had on hand until he could get home. When he reached the club room, he slowly opened the door. 'Great. Nobody's here," he thought as he sat his bags down. He went into the hidden pocket of his school bag and pulled out a pill bottle. He poured the contents out into his hand and examined the miscellaneous pills. All of them were different, since these were just leftovers he didn't take in the past.

He carefully looked over his options. 'Dimenhydrinate? No, I don't have enough of those. Xans? No, I don't wanna pass out during practice today.' He soon settled on two little orange and white pills. Adderal.

He quickly popped them into his mouth and put the bottle away. Just as he was zipping his bag, Kuroo, Yamamoto, Inuoka, and Lev, walked in, soon followed by the rest of the team.

"Woah, look who's here early," Yamamoto stated, elbowing Kuroo in his side. Kuroo didn't look amused. "Where were you?" he asked, staring straight at Kenma.

"I've been here. Why? Is that a problem?" Kenma responded, sounding a little harsher than he meant to. Kuroo's eyes widened a little, but he managed to keep his stern look.

"No. Where were you at lunch today?" Kuroo crossed his arms and shifted his weight to one leg. He was clearly pissed.

"I just decided to stay in the classroom today. Why are you so concerned?" Kenma asked, refusing to take his eyes off the floor. He felt like a child getting scolded by their parent. And he knew exactly what was coming next.

"So you didn't eat lunch? Did you even eat breakfast this morning? You know what, come with me," Kuroo stated as he turned to head out of the club room. Kenma hesitated, but obediently followed. He didn't really have a big appetite to begin with, even when they were kids. But when he started losing weight, Kuroo started paying more attention to when Kenma ate. Kuroo knew Akaashi would text Kenma every morning to remind him to eat. And Kuroo made sure to keep some type of snack on him at all times. They walked silently down the hall and to the garden at the center of the school.

"Sit down." Kuroo demanded, and Kenma did. Kuroo sat his school bag down and searched through it. He pulled out a little package of cookies and a juice box. "Here. Eat this"

Kenma stared at the items Kuroo placed in his lap. He hadn't really bothered to look at Kuroo's face this entire time, but when he did, he wished he hadn't. Kuroo had a look of concern mixed with sadness on his face. Kenma didn't know why, but every time Kuroo made this face, it hurt him. Usually he tried to ignore the feeling but this time he couldn't. He started to tear up and he choked on his words. All he could do was mouth out, "I can't."

"Then try." Kuroo responded as he cupped Kenma's hand in both of his. With his free hand, Kenma took a cookie, and reluctantly ate it. It was delicious, but he hated it. 'I'm not hungry. I don't need this' he thought to himself as he finished that cookie and reached for another. He knew Kuroo wouldn't leave him alone till he finished, so he quickly gobbled up the food and drank the juice. Kuroo smiled with relief when Kenma finished.

"Thank you. Let's head back to practice now." Kuroo said as they stood up.

"Umm.. sure but, I'm gonna go to the bathroom first. I'll be there soon." Kenma said with a small smile. Kuroo didn't think much of it, and without a second thought, he headed back to the gym alone. Kenma on the other hand, headed into the main building at a quicker pace than he usually walks. When he reached the bathroom, he looked around to make sure nobody was there. 'Great' he thought as he entered a stall. He locked the door and squatted down in front of the toilet, staring into it. There was only one thought on his mind. 'I have to get rid of this food now,' he thought as he opened his mouth and stuck two fingers down this throat.