This is Love: A Haikyuu FanFic

Chapter 13: Feel

a/n: hiya! Just wanted to let you guys know that I changed the title of the book and the cover! and also, I'm going to start each chapter off with a quote that kinda relates to the chapter. I'm gonna go add quotes to recent chapters and they will be in italics so you know they're separate from the story. Enjoy the chapter!💚✨

🥀" And all of a sudden I felt really tired. It was like the world had drained me of everything I had."🥀

Suga looked around the room. 'Hmm, everyone must be asleep,' he thought to himself as he quietly left the back room and snuck off to the bathroom. After seeing that it was empty, Suga entered one of the stalls and locked it. He spread his jacket on the bathroom floor and sat down to think.

He knew the setting mixed with the mindset he was in would only lead to bad things, but it was hard to think logically with his clouded mind.

"Everyone's going through a really rough time right now, and I'm trying my best. I really am. Everyone depends on me for security and reassurance but...who's going to reassure me?" Suga pulled a small razor out of his pocket and placed it to his skin. He didn't want to cut, and he had been able to stop for a good week. But things just weren't that easy. Suga knew he wasn't sad, angry, or upset in general. He didn't really feel anything.

So that's why he resorted to cutting. He wanted to feel something, anything! He slowly drug the sharp blade across his wrist, making sure to avoid all veins. He didn't want to die, at least not yet. All he wanted was to feel something. He watched as the blood rose out of the cut. He stared in awe at the crimson liquid leaking from the wound, amazed that the human body relied so much on this stuff to survive.

The pain relieved Suga. It was a feeling, and he wanted more. He made a couple more cuts, drowning himself in the slight pain building up. Suga soon realized something was off. His hand shook as he went to make one final cut, and he dropped the razor accidentally.

'What the hell?' Suga thought. 'Did I do too many?' He studied his arm and gasped at the sight. 'This is wayyyy too many. I didn't mean to let it go this far...' He could feel himself slowly losing consciousness, and he started to panic. 'I don't have enough strength to make it back to the room with the others' he thought. He whispered a small prayer to himself as he did the last thing he could think to do.

"I know I'm not one to usually pray, but God, please don't let me die tonight," Suga whispered as he pulled out his phone and clicked on a contact. He clenched his jaw at the fact that this may be the last message he ever sent, and chose not to use words at all.

From: Suga
To: Semi Eita

"🤍"

a/n: I hope you guys remember the whole blue and white heart thing from chapter 5🥺 anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you for 99 reads, probably 100 by the time I publish this. Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you guys stick around with me till the end of the book! Love you guys! Stay trippy!💚🛸