Finding Love: Tales from a Gay Millennial

Chapter 2: Ryan

After Julie, things were like the old times. Me pursuing girl crushes, and then me being denied. 

Now that I think about it, it may have been overcompensation. Trent surely gave me my first major gender identity crisis and I may have tried to affirm my straightness by being going after girls. 

It wasn't really until my final year in high school when things picked up pace again. 

South Valley High is quite popular so there are parents from far away who try to get their kids in there. Such students can board in- or near-campus, or live with their relatives. I for one, stayed in-campus.

As one of the eldest, I kind of took it upon myself to be a brother to the younger students staying in campus. I got especially close to freshmen: Slater and Ryan.

These two boys are definitely head-turner. 

Slater has very bright fair skin, and a very foreign charisma. He was tall, and had small Asian eyes. 

Ryan, on the other hand, had tan skin, of average height, but undeniably handsome. He's also quite confident in himself, which is actually quite appealing.

Since the two stay in campus, they tend to use the school's facilities a lot, especially the basketball court. 

They play against each other, making young high school girls swoon. Two handsome boys, dripping wet – who wouldn't want a piece of that, right?

I wasn't very athletic myself but I often got invited to watch them play, usually while I mess around with my phone, listening to music or playing mobile games. 

I also sometimes get invited to eat lunch with one or both of them so the three of us get seen together a lot.

At one point, an openly gay batch mate even asked me who of the two I was dating. 

"You're silly. They're like my little brothers," I answered with a rather uncharacteristically deep voice. 

And that, with all honesty, is what I believed in. I never really saw any of them more than my little brothers.

But now that I think about it, Ryan and I may have had a little bromance.

The students staying in the school apartments usually go home for the weekends. I don't go home as regularly though. 

Every now and then, Ryan asks me to go out with him to watch a movie or hang out in the nearby arcade and then he'll walk me back to my place before he sets of to go back to their house.

For the weekends we don't go out, or when I went home as well, he'll call and check up on me.

We'll be on the phone for several minutes at a time, then we texted regularly.

Whenever I was sad, Ryan always knew how to cheer me up. 

I'm a sucker for ice cream and so when I feel down, he's almost certain to have a tub ready that we can share, sometimes, together with Slater. After that, I'll feel better.

Ryan and Slater, together with the other boys who are also staying in the apartments in school enjoyed coming over to my unit. 

I enjoyed having people around and I had video games that we can play so they frequent my place. Most of the times, Ryan stays for the night. And yeah, since it's meant for one person, we'll share my bed. 

Sometimes I wake up to find myself hugging him, or him hugging me, but I thought it was just normal since we were sleeping.

Nothing happened more than that.

Ryan made it to the freshman team for the intraschool basketball tournament. And boy, was he a crowd favorite! 

They may have been eliminated for losing their first match, but a lot of girls went to have their photo taken with him. 

I wasn't really a fan of huge crowds so I started walking away.

"LEWIS!", shouted Ryan as I saw him running towards me, leaving the crowd behind. "I'm hungry. Will you treat me for dinner?" he asked with a cute smile.

"Sure," I answered. 

So, we went to our favorite diner nearby and had a nice meal.

"You know, some more girls would have wanted to take a photo with you," I teased Ryan.

"Meh. I don't really want to," he answered. "Besides, I wanted to go out with you."

Brushing it off, I just replied, "You're crazy!"

After eating, we walked back to my unit. He asked if he can stay over again. 

It wasn't really anything new so I let him. He had to borrow some clothes though because he was too lazy to get clothes from his own unit. 

After cleaning up, we slept like usual, nothing special.

You know, I only see these things now that I recall what happened in the past but during those times, I was still subtly forcing myself to believe I was straight.

I even had a crush on one of Ryan's classmates and she became my second girlfriend, although that too didn't last long.

After that, I also pursued a pretty girl from Ryan's batch as well who's staying in the school apartments and she became my third girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Ryan has been teased to one of the prettiest girls in his class. They would have looked so good together but for some reasons, he never became her boyfriend and that always remained a mystery for me.

My days in high school is about to end, which means I'll have to move out soon.

One night, when the boys came over to my place, I had to go out to buy some food. I was going alone but Ryan followed.

"So, you're leaving soon, huh?" Ryan asked in a rather sad tone.

"Well, yeah. I can't exactly stay here since I won't be a student here anymore," I answered in jest. "Besides, my University is quite far from here," I continued.

"But you will visit us, right?" Ryan asked, looking at me in the eyes as he did. "You'll visit me?"

"Of course, I will," I answered with a smile as I pat him in the head, and messed up his hair.

"Great!" he said, this time with his usual big smile.

Not long after that, high school graduation happened.

I moved into my grandparents' house near the university my parents chose for me.