Dekuverse dekubowl

God-Deku

Main-Deku was in a maths class again. He was wondering if murdering three people at once was the best idea. New-Teacher-Deku seemed happy though, as he only had 5 students left in his class; lust-Deku, shy-Deku, Main-Deku, transgender-Deku and tree-Deku. At the end of the day, Main-Deku went up to lust-Deku. 

"Lust-Deku, why am I even in this universe?" Main-Deku asked, "and why do I have to date myself?" Lust-Deku shrugged his shoulders and went to go and catch shy-Deku, who had just run away. 

Main-Deku was tapped on the shoulder by... Tree-Deku? "Don't worry Main-Deku" he(?) said, "I know that you miss table-Deku. I do too. He was made out of the same material as me! I knew that we were fated partners but I was always too shy to go up to him." Main-Deku, wondering why a tree was speaking to him, went back to his bin. 

When Main-Deku was in his bin, he was tapped on the shoulder by... Gun-Deku? Is Gun-Deku even a thing? Well, he had long, green hair and a long, green muzzel so Main-Deku presumed that it must be another Deku. "Don't worry Main-Deku" he(?) said, "I know that you miss slough-Deku. I do too. We both had very high crime rates! I knew that we were fated partners but i was scared that my crime rate might be too low for him." Main-Deku, wondering why a gun was speaking to him, went to get a drink. 

When Main-Deku was at a cafe, he was tapped on the shoulder by... Tea-Deku? How the heck does Tea even have Deku features? "Don't worry Main-Deku" he(?) said "I know that you miss British-Deku. I do too. We were both generically British! I knew that we were fated partners but i was scared of his refined taste for tea." Main-Deku, getting frustrated that random objects were speaking to him, got up and tried to leave. 

He was stopped by a man with long, green hair. "Hello Main-Deku," he said "I am God-Deku. Would you like to resurrect your friends?" 

"No thanks god-Deku. They were all kind of annoying. Anyway, wanna date me?" Main-Deku said. 

"I will only date you if you let me resurrect British, Slough, and Table-Deku!" God-Deku said

"Erg fine." Main-Deku reluctantly said. God-Deku then resurrected British, Slough and Table-Deku. Table-Deku and Tree-Deku started an intimate relationship. Slough-Deku was disappointed at Gun-Dekus low crime rate, so violently threw him into a river. British-Deku was disgusted at the amount of milk put into Tea-Deku, so even more violently threw him into a river.

Main-Deku, although slightly annoyed that these boring, over-used characters were back, was happy to be dating a new Deku. Hopefully, this Deku had all the answers to his questions. 

"Hey God-Deku, why am I even in this universe?" Main-Deku asked, "and why do I have to date myself?" God-Deku shrugged and smiled, making Main-Deku forget all of his worries. God-Deku was so beautiful! And he was a God! This Deku is even more Op than Op-Deku. Main-Deku shuddered at the memory of Op-Deku. 

Main-Deku and God-Deku had a happy few days together before God-Deku announced the bad news. "Main-Deku, I am sorry to say that I can no longer date you. It is against the rules of the Gods for Gods to date humans."

"But I thought you were the only one?" Main-Deku asked. 

"True, but what if I told you I didn't actually have green hair?" God-Deku said, taking off his green wig and revealing a slightly paler shade of green. Main-Deku agreed that it was probably best if they stopped dating. Main-Deku sadly watched God-Deku float off into the distance, before realising he now has to date another Deku. When will this stop?