Dekuverse dekubowl

Dad-Deku

Main-Deku was sitting in the now collapsed classroom getting rather panicked. He had had enough of this universe. He didn't want to date any more dekus with long, green hair who would inevitably die. He wanted to go home and see his parents. 'But...' Main-Deku thought, 'Who actually is my dad?'

A middle-aged deku then burst into the classroom "I am your dad!" said dad-deku. Main-Deku was surprised to see his dad but was even more surprised to see how beautiful he was! Dad-Deku had long, green hair and long, green glasses. 

"I am here to comfort you, son!" He said, awkwardly plopping Main-Deku onto his lap. Main-Deku was embarrassed by this, especially when he realised everyone was looking at him. 

"Hello, I am British-Deku, and I do generic British things, like pointing and laughing at people" British-Deku announced, pointing and laughing at Main-Deku. Slough-Deku laughed along while table-Deku just sat there, probably thinking about how much he hated being a table. 

"Hey Father," said Main-Deku, "Did I ever have a brother?"

"Of course not Main-Deku! When I gave birth to you, you were so stupid, irrelevant and retarded that we thought we would do the world a favour by not having another child!" Dad-Deku said. Main-Deku thought about what this meant. Definitely-Not-Related-By-Blood-Deku was actually not related by blood. How surprising. On the other hand...

"Errr... you gave birth to me?" asked Main-Deku carefully. "You had better not be an..."

"Omega! Yes, i am an omega. You have been epically pranked your entire life. Your mother was the one who inseminated me!" Omega-Deku/pregnate-Deku/sucidal-Deku cheered from his grave. He had, around 20 chapters after his death, found a fellow omega!

Main-Deku was slightly taken aback by this information. His dad was an omega and his mum was... He didn't want to think about it. 

"Dad-Deku, are you even my dad? Im pretty sure I didn't have a dad." Main-Deku asked. 

"No, I am your father" Dad-Deku said. Main-Deku thought that he had heard that somewhere before, but he wasn't sure. But on the other hand, Dad-Deku was available for dating...

"Hey Dad-Deku... PLEASE DATE ME UWUWUWU" Main-Deku uwued. 

"No that's weird lol" Dad-Deku said. 

"BUT PLEASEEEEE. This universe is special dad we can date whoever we want. And your so beautiful!" Main-Deku pleaded. 

"Well ok, as long as you don't tell Inko!" Dad-Deku said. Main-Deku then thought. If there is a Dad-Deku, then why isn't his mother Mum-Deku? Is his father a transdimensional being?

"Please stop mumbling Main-Deku. It isn't very appealing." Dad-Deku dakuwued. Main-Deku realised that he actually didn't want to date his father. He didn't really want to date anyone. But here he was, with his apparent father undressing in front of him with British-Deku, Slough-Deku and a table watching the scene. 

Main-Deku stood up and ran away from the classroom. He didn't want to be near any more dekus.