Spacewives Oneshot

10

      Lesbian jokes and loving wives

            Ineffablemurderhusbands

It was supposed to be an ordinary day in the TARDIS. The Doctor was alone because her companions decided to stay in Sheffield for the day and she didn’t feel like travelling alone so she decided to have a “treat yo self!” day like that old American tv show she used to watch. The Doctor was currently in her big bathtub surrounded by bubbles and warm water as a soft melody echoed from the TARDIS’s walls. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail so it wouldn’t get wet but the moisture of the ambience was already turning the blond strands wavy. She had her eyes closed when she felt the TARDIS lurching violently causing her to lose balance and slip completely inside the bathtub.

The Doctor pulled herself from the water spluttering and pushing her wet hair out of her face since she had no idea where her hair tie went and realized her TARDIS was being stolen. Muttering under her breath she stepped out of the tub and dried her body and hair as best as she could, pulling on her clothes fast and grabbing her sonic screwdriver as she rushed out of the bathroom and ran into the console room.

As she reached her console room and saw who was stealing her TARDIS she froze in place, unable to move or react as she saw River standing there. Her wife looked the same as always, reckless and stunning. Her blonde, curly and full hair made an amazing contrast against the amber lights of her TARDIS. It almost looked like she had a halo of light surrounding her. River was wearing black high waited trousers, a white button up, with the first bottoms open and showing a hint of her black bra and a black vest paired with impossible black high heels. She looked right out of a noir film with a few incongruences in attire in what was considered appropriated for a lady at the time. Her guns were showing on their shoulder holsters and she had on dark makeup with a special care to her dark red lips. The Doctor suddenly felt underdressed in her rainbow shirt with no undershirt, braces or bra, blue trousers and no shoes or socks. Her hair was quite messy and wavy with no product on and still quite damp. That was surely not how she pictured her reencounter with her wife in her dreams. The Doctor usually imagined a setting where she was being brilliant and River had on that face when she looked at her.

The blonde Time Lord almost pondered if she had time to run and go change but her thoughts were interrupted by River’s voice.

“I know you’re in there.” She said, her back to the Doctor. “I can almost hear you thinking.”

River turned around and finally faced The Doctor. If she looked surprised by her gender she did not show. River eyed her wife up and down appreciatively, lingering on her bare feet for a moment with a raised eyebrow. “Hello sweetie. You look like a wet kitten.” She smiled and something inside the Doctor lighted up. Before she could comprehend, her legs had already brought her to River seizing her in her arms and kissing her passionately. River was surprised for a moment before she responded to the kiss, softening up and wrapping her arms around her wife’s tiny waist. The Doctor buried her hands in her wife’s hair and deepened the kiss, going on her tip toes to be able to kiss her wife properly.

They kissed for a long time, no one being able to pull away from each other. As they ceased the kiss, River smiled down at her wife and caressed her ear lightly causing the Doctor to shudder. “I really like the piercings.”

“Do you really?” The Doctor beamed at her. “I thought it would make me look edgier.”

River chuckled. “You went to Claire’s for this or did you just regenerated with holes in your ears?” She asked, truly intrigued. It was a lot of ear holes.

“Claire’s.” She frowned. “It hurt more than I thought it would.” River smiled and kissed her ear lightly making the Doctor flush lightly.

“I loved it.” She reassured her. “The outfit is suiting too, although I’m pretty sure I’m not seeing all of it, you do love some layers.” The Doctor nodded along with her. “The rainbow is a bit on the nose, though.” River smirked when her wife looked jokingly offended.

“Excuse me, I am married to a woman being a woman so that makes me qualified to wear rainbows in everything!” She stuffed her chest in pride. “My coat has a rainbow it in as well.” She shrugged and River chuckled.

“I love your enthusiasm.” She smiled. “I quite like this new face and body of yours. Makes me wonder…” The half-human smirked. “The only downside to this is having to cut my nails.” River says, staring longingly at her long and perfect manicured red nails.

“Why is that?” The Doctor asks confused.

River merely raised an eyebrow and looked down at her wife’s crotch area, just staring at the Doctor after until she realized on her own.

The Doctor tilted her head to the side in thought and confusion for a moment until understanding dawned on her face, causing her to blush furiously.

“Oh. That.” She stuttered. “Cutting your nails might be optimal in this particular case, yes.” She nodded, still red as a tomato. Then she directed her gaze to her own nails –short and unpainted. “Mine are okay.”

River placed her hands on top of her wife’s. The Doctor’s hands now were smaller than hers but they were still calloused like the softness of her woman’s body hadn’t regenerated in her palms. “How about we put your hands to the test?” She suggested smirking and squeezing her wife’s hands. “Actually, let’s put all of your body to the test.”

The Doctor, still blushing, but with a twinkle in her eyes pulled River towards to the bedroom. “I do have a nail cutter in my room.”

River smiled radiantly. She wasn’t even sad about cutting her nails if it meant she could drive her wife crazy.