Boris Johnson becomes a Stripper.

Boris v Britain

Boris stood outside the British Parliament, around him stood absolutely no one as he stood in the middle of London, which was a ghost town, void of any human life.

The man had one objective, and one objective only, and it was to save Shrek 5 from being postponed. The Prime Minister knew that this was not going to be an easy thing for him to do alone, which is why he had assembled a small team of 7 random people he managed to find on the street.

The team consisted of Mike, the local homeless man which is suspected of consuming any of the local wildlife, his friend Susan, who may or not be addicted to Crack.

There was also Hitler, a 50 year old housewife with 7 kids.

Then there was Dan, as well as 3 others which just so happened to be the best lawyers in all of Britain, their names were all Pat.

Together, Boris, Mike, Susan, Hitler, Dan, Pat, Pat and Pat would save Shrek 5, and end this crisis one and for all. Unfortunately, this was not going to be an easy job which is why the team would have to come up with a wacky and elaborate plan which was full of hijinks.

After a week of planning they came up with one and did it and blah blah blah, Hitler got shot, Susan did some Heroin, all the Pats turned out to be slave owners, that was a whole thing. Oh and also I think Dan might actually be a chicken, which I'm surprised no one at the studio had noticed earlier.

Quite a boring story actually, so let's take a look at what happened after this crazy plan.

There at their local coffee shop sat Boris holding the official unreleased copy of Shrek 5, contained in his shiny metal briefcase. Hitler sat next to him, with several bullet shots in him, he kept going in and out of consciousness but that's fine, and next to him was Dan, who is a chicken.

"Quack" spoke Dan.

"That's a good question Dan" said Hitler, "Where is Susan?" he asked Boris.

"At the local crack house" he replied.

"Ah" spoke Hitler.

"Quack" said Dan.

The three BFFs sat there in awkward silence until they were interrupted by the waitress who apparently wanted them to pay. What a crazy world we live in.

Understandably Hitler refused and committed a mass genocide right before he passed out.

"Damn, what a day" said Boris. "Quack" replied Dan.