No Matter

5

Literal akong natigilan at pinagmasdan lang ang likod niyang papalayo dulot ng patuloy niyang paghakbang. Nang mapansin ata niyang wala na ako sa tabi niya ay tumingin siya sa likod at doon ako tumugon, "What?"

Kunot ang noo ko nang tignan siya na ngayon ay may simple ngunit totoong ngiti. I expected to see that wide stupid smile of his to assure me that it was just a joke but he instead, he gave me a genuine smile. Feeling ko ay hindi siya si Marcus kapag hindi siya nakangiti nang malawak na palagi niyang ipinapakita sa lahat.

"I like you, pero patapusin mo muna ako. Duh! I like how you amaze me with your different sides. I want to see more," Bigla ay nagseryoso siya at malalim akong tinignan. I felt conscious because it was as if he was looking through me.

"Is it weird to feel like I somehow see myself from you?" He chuckled to perhaps make the mood a little lighter. I didn't respond. Tumitig lang ako sa kaniya, sinusubukang basahin ang ekspresyon niya habang inoobserbahan siya. Tumaas ang kilay niya at nagmake face na siyang ikinatawa ko. "Oh, baka maging unan mo na ako, niyan, Szeirra, ha?"

"Pinagsasabi mo riyan?"

"Tumutulo na laway mo sa 'kin e. Tama na katititig, angkinin mo na ako, sige na, okay lang. Hindi ako magrereklamo, promise!" Awtomatikong kumunot ang noo ko.

Nahihibang na ata ang isang 'to!

"Kidding. Tara na, let's not waste a second. I still want to know more of you," Kinuha niya ang kamay ko upang higitin at nagpatianod lang ako sa kaniya. He immediately let go of my hand when we started walking.

Marcus never fails to surprise me with his actions at the most random situations lately. But I admit, I was lost for words a while ago because I was feeling the same thing. Parehas pala kaming interesadong mas makilala pa ang isa't isa. I didn't know he also thinks of me that way.. So I guess, it is really not that bad to agree to this dinner, huh? I am starting to accept it and I should just enjoy while it lasts.

Changing your perspective and looking at the good side of a story can help you keep going. I know it because I've been there and I've done it. It is what I always do. It has been a routine of mine since I do not know how long.

We stopped at a boutique of a famous brand and Marcus switched himself into his usual self again. Pataas baba ang mga kilay niya habang sobrang lawak ang ngiti sa akin. Nginiwian ko siya dahil sa itsura niya at tinanong kung bakit kami nandoon.

"Let's go shopping!"

What.

"You're kidding, right?" Sunod na sunod ang pag-iling niya habang hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngiti na dinagdagan pa ata ng kislap sa kaniyang mga mata.

"Malelate tayo sa dinner."

"Huh? Who eats dinner at 5 o'clock, Szeirra? Because my family definitely don't."

"What do you mean?" Nawawala na ang pasensyang tanong ko sa kaniya.

"I adjusted the time earlier than the actual dinner. Let's go shopping!" Hinila niya ang braso ko papasok ng shop at sinamaan ko lang siya ng tingin.

"Para kang babae."

Binigyan niya lang ako ng tipid na ngiti at tinalikuran na ako. Oh shit. I've been avoiding to say such things to him dahil alam kong sensitibo ang bagay na iyon sa kaniya dahil sinabihan na ako ng iba naming common friends. Tinignan ko ang repleksyon niya sa malaking salamin sa harap namin at napakagat ako sa labi nang makita kung gaano siya kaseryoso sa pagtingin ng mga salbabida and it was as if he was giving a dark aura through his eyes. Kulang na lang ay magdikit na ang dalawa niyang kilay sa sobrang pagkasalubong. Oh no. Why do you have to be this stupid, Szeirra?