I Just Loved You (And I Still Do); Taegi/Taekook

❝downfall❞

He hadn't wanted to go. Taehyung hadn't wanted to go to that stupid Christmas reunion at Seokjin's and Namjoon's place, no matter how desperately he had insisted that they had all "drifted apart" and just needed an evening together to get each other updated. He hadn't wanted to go because he had known Yoongi and Jimin would be there, too. He hadn't texted nor seen Jimin - also not around campus - ever since their encounter a month ago. Jeongguk hadn't heard anything from him either - much to Taehyung's relief. It meant he really had kept quiet.

Now seeing him again would be dangerous. It would be just as dangerous as seeing Yoongi had been. He hadn't intended to come across him. Not after being caught and not after the radio silence on both their behalf.

Not meeting up, not fucking, had been strangely okay. Taehyung had been craving him the first few weeks but just like with the withdrawal of a drug, the body starts accepting that it won't get what it desires so tremendously and painfully after a while. Taehyung should have been aware of the dangers of relapse. But nothing could have prepared him for the moment he brushed hands with Yoongi again. Nothing could have prepared him for the aching longing his body voiced when he saw dark, triangle-shaped eyes and his pale, almost transparent skin stretching across his soft features. Yoongi's hands had been covered by leather gloves but Taehyung had seen and felt and dreamt about them often enough to know exactly what they were looking like underneath. And that mere fact had been enough to make him tremble with the old and well-known excitement that he had felt so many times before. It had been the same excitement that had led to Jimin finding out. That sick excitement of doing something so utterly wrong and disloyal. Maybe Taehyung was sick and Yoongi certainly wasn't his cure but when they ended up in his flat again, he had felt like it. Like a magical cure to whatever sickness Taehyung had.

That one time truly had been a one-time-thing although neither of them talked before or afterwards and Taehyung wasn't even surprised by the missing guilt when he went home anymore.

Taehyung really hadn't wanted to go to that reunion because it meant seeing Jimin again and it meant having to face his drug again that he had hoped he had got away from. Needless to say, he hadn't.

But because he still loved Jeongguk after everything that happened and it was important to him, he still went, knowing it would be his downfall.

Namjoon looked tired from all the work and sleepless nights at his computer, composing and writing. Seokjin had made sure he wouldn't lose any weight and had been just amazing, he told the couple when they were the first ones to arrive. It reminded Taehyung of the first time he met Yoongi. It had been a reunion just like this one. Jeongguk and he had been early, Jimin had been sick and Hoseok and Yoongi had been soaked from the rain when they turned up. It was crazy how similar it all felt. Only that this time, Jimin wasn't sick, just a little late and the weather was too cold for rain. Has it really been a few months only?

Taehyung was sitting on Namjoon's and Seokjin's couch right next to Jeongguk, half on top of his lap with his legs bent and pressed against his chest. Uncomfortably. They were covered by a Christmas themed blanket that fit into the entire interior. The older couple was crazy about that festivity and they had made sure everything was decorated and festive. No more pastel curtains. They probably didn't even have to compromise on the new ones.

The radio was on and some unimportant American Christmas song was being played. Later on, Taehyung would recognize it again. But at that moment, all he could think about was the guests that were yet to arrive.

"You seem out of it", Jeongguk pointed out quietly and squeezed Taehyung's hand underneath the blanket.

The older one hadn't been paying attention to anything, had just been staring at a random point somewhere across the room while Seokjin had been yelling anecdotes from the kitchen and Namjoon switching between both rooms to make sure his boyfriend got just as much attention as their guests.