I Just Loved You (And I Still Do); Taegi/Taekook

❝numb❞

Jimin's suggestion only came when they were a few glasses of wine and two courses into the evening. It would be fun. They hadn't heard of one another in so long, who knew if any of them had any new secrets none of the others knew.

When Jimin spoke those words and his gaze flickered to Taehyung for a split second, he felt sick to his stomach. There was no way Jimin said it just like that. There was no way he just wanted to catch up on what they had missed out on throughout the chaos of the past few months and Taehyung despised him for it. He despised him for playing so dirty. He despised him, he despised him. He ground his teeth once again - he wasn't even sure if he had once loosened his jaw - and choked out a light chuckle.

"I don't know if I've had enough food for a drinking game", he tried to find an excuse while biting his bottom lip in between his forced snickering.

Then eat while we're at it, Seokjin shoved the basket with the bread into his direction with those words. He seemed so excited and happy about being all together again that he wouldn't let anyone ruin this. He wouldn't let anyone not participate because that would mean someone was excluded and exclusion was the last thing their friend wanted.

Taehyung knew that he was helpless. That he had no way of getting out of this now. So he smiled at Seokjin and grabbed a piece of bread, gnawing at it nervously as Namjoon and Hoseok expertly prepared the shots. It was holidays anyway and none of them had to work or go to any lectures tomorrow, they babbled and Jimin hummed in agreement. So did Taehyung although he wanted to yell. He wanted to grab Jimin by his collar and shove him off his chair and then yell at him that he hated him for doing this to him and then leave. Just leave. Never return to this circle full of people he had lied to and who couldn't ever know about the lies he had told them. It would be the end of him. He wouldn't ever be able to return, he would be left with nothing.

He thought about asking Jimin for a private talk. He thought about threatening him but he didn't know how. He had no idea what was important to Jimin by now and he had no idea how he could possibly blackmail him into keeping his mouth shut. Even if he did have one, there was no guarantee that Jimin would actually care. He probably wouldn't. He probably would laugh at Taehyung. Jimin didn't seem to have anything more to lose. What more was there to lose when he didn't have the man he loved and the man who used to be his best friend anymore? Taehyung had taken all that after all.

Taehyung was trapped within the walls of his friends' apartment and there was no way he could get through this without losing just as much. However, he didn't try to keep them from playing that game again. That one failed attempt had been the only one. If he did try again, Jimin might pan the spotlight to Taehyung by asking why he insisted, if he had a secret he was scared to share. If he just played that stupid, dirty game of Jimin's then maybe... Maybe there was no reason to be suspicious of him.

Oh, how foolish Taehyung was. How stupid and how deeply in denial to actually think Jimin was that good to him.

Namjoon was the first one to voice a Never Have I Ever question. It was harmless. If they had ever used handcuffs in bed. Seokjin nudged his side with his elbow while downing his first shot and huffed.

Taehyung tried his best to laugh softly while eyeing his boyfriend. Obviously, they had. They both drank. So did Yoongi and Hoseok. Only Jimin survived this round. So he asked next.

Before he even parted his lips, Taehyung felt his heart drop. He could feel it down in his stomach, pulsing and pumping, making his entire body invisibly tense up and cramp. Not even the light intoxication of the alcohol helped although he had already started to feel a little warm, a little more like floating and less like a rock, bound to stay buried within the ground and unable to move.