Engrossed in Emotion

An Unexpected Autumn

I'll share my body but not my heart,

because what happened tears me apart.

We didn't make it, and it stings

But I guess it's okay, because these things

happen- They don't work out.

Hearts and brains clouded with doubt

start fires too bright to look directly at,

but you can't look away either, it's a fact.

Pain floods our hearts and numbs our limbs

and our sadness sings lonely hymns.

I'll miss you forever and long for your soul,

after our encounter, I'll never quite be whole... again.

I need a friend, two friends at least.

Or maybe I will just move East.

I always get comfortable in broken, shifting homes

I'll search for you inside of another boy's bones.

I'm sorry, my dear, that we ended like that

to believe that we could work is to believe the Earth is flat.

It is a hopeless cause

please just stop and pause,

realize the reason

we can't bloom this season.

This is our Autumn,

Our fall-

Our falling apart.

The rain falls too, and we both like gloomy days

but holding onto that is not the way

to fix this.

We fucked each other up-

drank from the hypocrite's cup

and said that we didn't mean to.

It might very well be true.

But it doesn't change the fact that it happened.

Say something else that'll cause me to snap and

I'll hurt your fucking feelings

enough to leave you reeling

and searching for the truth

which is that I'm uncouth.

I love you very much

but I'm not your fucking crutch

to use while you fix yourself.

I put my feelings on a shelf

to deal with on a day when we had more time,

But it was always about yours and never about mine.

You said that I was selfish and that it wasn't fair,

but the reality is that you didn't fucking care

unless I agreed with you.

I don't know who to go to about the way I feel,

so instead I'll turn my emotions into some cold steel.