Inverted Paradox

Wake up

"Beastboy." A voice said with longing. Wait longing? I'm not the one dead here..right?

Alright Beastboy you're just asleep. All you have to do is open your eyes. That's not so hard.

But as hard as I tried I couldn't manage to pry my eyes open. In fact I couldn't move at all. I could only listen. Which by the way kinda sucks.

What the hell happend?

I wish I knew.

Thoughts of dread filled my entire being. Don't freak out. Everything's fine. I tried to convince myself.

It didn't work.

"If don't know if you can hear me, but I just wanted to let you know that we all miss you. I miss you."

There's that voice again. Wait, we?

That's when it hit me.

Raven.

But she's dead. Maybe I'm dead? But why can't I see her.

Raven! I tried to call out. But nothing happened. It was like my mouth was sewn shut by a thousand needles.

"Please come back."

I'm right here!

I started to get really frustrated at my situation. There has to be a way to get her to hear me.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. Her voice cracked. I couldn't bear to hear her like this.

She seemed so broken.

I was distracted from my thougts by footsteps. Except they weren't getting closer.

Raven wait!

That's it. I have to see her again. Whether this is real or not.

I don't care anymore.

Come on brain. Do something good for once in your life.

I forced my eyes open, only to be blinded by the light.

I quickly shut them again.

No. I have to push through this.

For Raven.

I opened my eyes again. This time resisting the urge to close them.

I slowly took in my surroundings. I just couldn't figure out where I was.

I called out to Raven, but it came out as a croak.

It seemed to get her attention though. She whipped her head around and ran up to me, tears in her eyes.

What is going on?

This isn't real. I know what I saw. But still I yearned for this. Having Raven look at me. Even if it's just a dream.

"You're alive!" No, you're dead.

I gave her a confused look. Or at least as close to that as my aching body could handle.

But she's gone. This doesn't make any sense.

"Where are we?" I heard myself say in no more than a whisper.

"The med wing."

The med wing? Why would I be there?

"You really don't remember, do you?"

I shook my head sadly.

She looked like she was far away. Somewhere I couldn't reach her.

Probably trying to summon up the memory as she spoke, "The crime alert went off. Mad Mod was at it again. We went to stop him. H- he did something to you. We thought it was one of his hipno screens but you wouldn't wake up."

She paused seeming in deep thought.

"After a while everyone thought you would never wake up, but you're strong. I knew you could keep fighting. Cyborg said you were in a dream-like state. That you could only wake up when you're ready."

I listened closely, carefully taking in every word.

I would say I was shocked, but that would be an understatement.

None of it was real. Raven was still alive and I was in some sort of coma.

"How long?" I managed to sputter out.

She bit her lip.

"How long was I out?" I repeated.

Just as she opened her mouth Robin burst in. The others close behind.

"Raven we've got trouble."

Everyone looked at me, seeming to finally notice my existence.

I looked away, but I could feel their stares burning into my soul.

I hated the way they were looking at me.

I made eye contact with Raven and gave her a pleading look.

"Robin."

"What?" He didn't take his eyes off me.

"The mission."

"Oh right." Only then did he tear his eyes away. I gave a silent sigh of relief as he focused his attention back on Raven.

Robin was about to continue when Starfire intervened.

"But what about friend Beastboy."

"What about him?" Raven asked nonchalantly.

"Shouldn't someone do the watching of him."

She shrugged her shoulders in response. Maybe she does hate me.

"Maybe you should stay with him Raven." Cyborg cut in.

"Why do I get stuck babysitting?"

"Someone has to watch him." Robin countered.

"Why not Starfire. Or Cyborg."

"The task is yours friend Raven." Starfire replied, smiling at her.

Raven sighed. Then she let out a small "okay" in defeat.

The others left us alone. Raven looked at me again, her face was blank. She hid her emotions quite well. I had no idea what she was thinking.

I tried to sit up, but my body refused.

I groaned in pain.

Raven let out a huff as she gave me her hand.

I grabbed it without hesitation, my heart warming at the contact.

Using her for balance I managed to get up and hobble to my room.

I got in my bed. With some help from Raven of course. After I was settled in she left.

I wanted her to stay.

I needed her to.

But words failed me.

Watching her leave brought me back to her bloody form on the ground, unmoving.

I felt my heart deflate. Even know she was alive I've never felt further from her.