Inverted Paradox

Why me?

I opened my drowsy eyes, taking im my familiar surroundings. I don't understand why I'm so tired when I've been 'sleeping' for who knows how long.

I'd be lying if I said things were back to normal. Things have been quiet lately. Too quiet. I know somethings up.

Everytime I try to talk to Raven she bites her lip and avoids my questions.

I can't help but wonder if she's avoiding me.

I hope not.

As for everyone else, they don't even look at me.

Even Cyborg. My 'best friend'.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

Or maybe I'm not trying the right approach.

I ran out of my room and to Raven's.

I gingerly knocked on her door.

Please answer.

I put my ear to the door.

Nothing.

Was she even there?

Maybe she doesn't want to see me.

No.

I knocked again.

Still nothing.

"Raven?" I called out.

"Maybe you don't want to talk to me." I paused for a moment. "But that's okay. The thing is I need you in my life. I always have. So whatever I did, please let me make it up to you."

I sighed.

I guess that's a no.

My ears drooped as I took one last look at her door.

I headed back to my room, wishing to at least see Raven. The real Raven.

The Raven that reads books, drinks herbal tea and is sarcastic.

The Raven that I love.

I wish things could go back to the way they were before.

I sat down on my bed, head in my hands.

What did I do wrong?

It doesn't matter. She'll never love me anyway.

***

A soft knock was heard from my door.

Oh now they want to talk to me?

With a heavy heart I opened my door.

There she was. Why would she want to talk to me now?

"What do you want?" I asked cooly.

Seeing her now gave me a mixture of emotions. Anger, regret, hurt.

She flinched at my tone.

Confusion lit up her gaze.

"Beastboy. What's wrong?"

I just stared at her. Seriously?

"Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you ignore me, then I try to talk to you and you don't even open your door." I said angerly.

"I wasn't trying to avoid you. I never meant to hurt you."

"Well you did."

She looked down.

"Beastboy... I-"

"Save it." I cut her off.

I turned around, not wanting to look at her anymore. It only caused me pain.

"Beastboy, you have to understand. I wasn't avoiding you. I've just been having to deal with a lot of crap lately and I took it out on you."

I snapped back around.

"Well what about when I knocked on your door huh. You could have at least answered."

"I wasn't even there. I was on the roof all day!" She snapped back.

I could tell she was trying really hard to keep her emotions under control.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry."

She looked at me with sad eyes.

I felt my anger melt away.

"And I'm sorry I overeated. It's just I feel like no one wants to talk to me anymore."

"I want to."

I looked deep into her amathyst eyes.

Unconciously, I started leaning towards her. Still mesmerized by her.

Everything around me started to fade. It didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was her.

Our faces were so close they were almost touching. I longed for her lips to touch mine.

"Hello friends!"

I was snapped out of my trace by none other than Starfire.

This is the first I've heard from her in weeks.

While I'm always glad to see her, I wish she would have waited.

"Friend Raven, would you like to acompany me to the mall of shopping?"

"Actually, we were kinda in the middle of something Star."

Raven shot me a grateful glance.

Starfire looked at me, then Raven.

"Oh." She said in a sad tone.

Raven looked regretful, but only for a second.

I watched Starfire walk away.

As the sound of her steps faded away I turned back to Raven.

"So, shall we continue?"

She put her finger on my mouth.

"Actually, I have a better idea."