the stars in your eyes

•9•

i walked home with eddie, his fingers intertwined with mine. people stared and whispered. eddie started to get more nervous.
"faggots!" somebody screamed, making the crowd of people look directly at us. everybody looked disgusted. eddie started to shake. he pulled out his inhaler and took multiple hits of it. i let go of eddies hand and walked over to the guy who said that.
"what the fuck did you just say?" i get in his face.
"you heard me, faggot" i give him a glare before turning around, acting like i'm gonna walk away, and then swing my fist right into his nose. he falls to the ground, holding his bloody nose.
"wanna tell me what you called us again?" i point to my ear. he starts to sit up, backing away from me, "that's what i fucking thought" i turned around to the crowd of people, who just stared in awe and disgust.
"does anybody have anything else to say? cause i didn't know it was illegal to go out in public with someone i love. fuck all of you homophobic asshole" i flip everybody off before walking over to eddie, who's hyperventilating in the corner.
"hey eddie, you okay?" i put my hand on his shoulder but he pushes it away.
"get the fuck off of me. don't touch me" he stands up and shoved me before walking away. i just stood there in awe. a tear rolled down my cheek as i watched him walk away. i begin to breakdown. at this point, i didn't care what the crowd saw. i dropped to my knees and put my head in my hands and started bawling. after a while of me crying, the crowd left, leaving me all alone in the side of the street. except for one girl. she walked over to me and sat beside me.
"you okay?" she asks. i look up at her. i'd seen her around school before, but we've never actually talked. she had long brown hair with blond highlights and a natural summer tan. she had freckles and beautiful green eyes. her smile was soft.
"no, but thanks for asking" i threw my head back down into my hands.
"yeah, i get that. i saw what he did. what's the story behind you two? if you don't mind me asking" she smiles at me.
"he was my boyfriend for months. we were so in love. or at least i was. we kept it a secret for a while because he wasn't ready to come out to our friends yet. even though my life sucked, he made it a lot better. then today, we arrived here and suddenly he broke up with me. was it something i did? did i hurt him? why do i always fuck up!" i burst out into tears again.
"hey, hey, hey, it's okay. shhhh. your gonna be alright i promise." she wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a hug.
"why are you being so nice to me? i'm just a gay loser" i ask.
"because, i'm gay too. and you were heartbroken. and you seem like a nice guy from what i hear." she gives me another soft smile. i try and smile back, through all my tears, "hey, why don't you come over to my house? we can get to know each other and get your mind off him!" she stands up and holds her hand out to me, i grab it and she pulls me up.
"that'd be nice, thank you" i wipe some tears from my cheeks and start up the street. we walk a few blocks before stopping in front of a light yellow house. we walk to her door and walk in.
"mom? dad?" she yells.
"yes lexi?" a woman's voice lingers throughout the house.
"is it okay if i have a friend over? he's a bit upset and i need to cheer him up"
"of course sweetheart" her mother walks through the hallway to where we're standing. she looks at lexi, then at me.
"hello, i'm lexis mother mary. what's your name?"
"richie. richie tozier" i smile at her. she smiles back.
"make yourself at home, richie. and i hope you feel better!" she walks past us and into the living room. lexi motions for me to come upstairs and i follow her into her room. she sits down on her bed, and pats the seat beside her. i sit down next to her.
"richie tozier. i've heard that before. i've seen you in school too. you seem so happy all the time. and your friends seem to think your funny" she smiled.
"yeah i'm sure they think i'm hilarious. my jokes consist of sex and your mom" i laugh a bit.
"really? i kinda thought you were one of the innocent ones. you look it" she replies.
"hell no. ben is probably the most innocent of my group of friends. he still hasn't had his first kiss yet! and he isn't planning on it anytime soon. and he like never swears, ever. it's kinda scary" she smiles.
"they call you guys the losers club right? like bowers calls you that?" she asks.
"yep. we learned to accept it. i think eddie-" i stop at his name. i feel tears poke at my eyes.
"so that's his name, huh?"
"what makes you think that?" i wipe my tears.
"your crying, richie." she takes her thumb and wipes it under my eye.
"no i'm not, it's fine" i say.
"richie, it's okay not to be okay. you don't have to hide your feelings. i get it. he broke your heart, you have every right to be upset" she rubs my back as i cry into my hands.
"here, let's do something to take your mind of him. how about we go to the arcade?" i look up at her.
"sure. i really need to get my mind off him" we stand up and leave her house, walking up the street to the main area of derry. we walk into the aladdin and play arcade games for what seemed like hours. i'd finally gotten my mind off eddie. we finished the night off with some ice cream.
"today has been amazing. thank you, seriously" i smile at her. she smiles back.
"no problem. i still feel terrible about what happened to you." she replies.
"don't. it's okay. nothing good ever really works out for me anyways, i don't know why i got my hopes up with him. i thought he loved me....." i felt tears poke at my eyes. i tried to hold them back but a few slipped out.
"aw i'm sorry richie. if you ever need me, here's my number and my address. your always welcome over my house." she hands me a piece of paper with her number and address on it. her and i stand up and throw our ice cream away.
"thank you again" i say, giving her a hug.
"anytime. see you around!" she waved goodbye and her figure fades as she walks further and further. i sit back down at the table and begin to sob again. i should be sitting here with eddie right now. i let my head fall onto the table and cry into my hands.
"richie? is that y-you?" bills voice lingers throughout the air. i lift my head and watch as all the losers make their way over here.
"what the hell happened? are you okay? where's eddie? is he okay?" bev asks and sits down next to me, rubbing my back.
"i'm sure eddies fine. he's probably somewhere doing amazing. he's probably with his new girlfriend!" i yell and sob into bevs shoulder.
"what? what are you talking about?" stan asks.
"he broke up with me earlier today! we got surrounded by a crowd of people because we were holding hands and somebody yelled 'faggots' so i stood up for us. when i went back over to eddie, he shoved me and told me to fuck off, then walked away. he lied to me! he's not gay! he just wanted to play with my feelings! he fucked with me!" i said between sobs.
"woah.....so you guys are together" stan says.
"not anymore!" i say, crying out more.
"shhh rich it's gonna be okay. let's head back to my house, okay?" bev says, pulling me up from my chair and walking with me to her house. when we get there, we all sit in her room.
"take a few deep breaths richie, your gonna be okay. shhh" mike says, his hand on my shoulder. i was sobbing so hard that i could barely breathe.
"have you guys fought recently?" bev asks, pacing her room.
"no! we've been going smooth for so long now. we are so good today! he showed no sign of wanting to break up with me. maybe he was just using me....." i say.
"no, that can't be it. he's eddie. he wouldn't do that, especially not to you." bev says, still pacing.
"i think we should stop talking about this around richie, bev. he's really upset. i think what he needs is a good nights sleep" ben says, pulling me off the floor.
"richie, you can sleep in my bed while me and the boys sleep on the air mattresses. you need to rest. goodnight richie" bev kisses me on the cheek and puts blankets over me. i'm still crying at this point, but not loud. all i could think about was how much i wanted to cuddle with eddie. tears continued to roll down my cheeks. eddie was no longer mine.