Sanders Sides Oneshots

Shut up

⚠️ - mentions of past self harm, yelling, crying, basically a mental breakdown

Thomas felt the storm coming closer, felt his heart tighten and breath cut short. He bolted to his room and fell to his knees. His head buzzed full of thoughts, heart heavy with emotion. His eyes were drawn towards the sharp thorns on his desk. No... he thought, his wrist burning from the memory. Not now. Not so soon. Get over it, wimp.

But he needs to do it.

It helps.

It stops the thoughts.

It distracts him.

But he can't.

Thomas clutched at his head, tearing at his hair. The thoughts wouldn't stop. They kept swarming every rational thought that his mind could form. Tears formed in his eyes and poured down his cheeks. He needed a distraction. He needed them to stop...

"Shut up!" he shouted, standing up and glaring at his reflection in the mirror.

"Shut up, Patton!"

"Shut up, Virgil!"

"Shut up, Logan!"

"Shut up, Roman!"

"Shut up, Janus!"

"Shut up, Remus!"

Thomas fell to the floor again, screaming at himself. He needed the thoughts to stop. He needed them gone. He needed a distraction. He needed to know he wasn't alone.

But he was. He was alone. He needed a hug. He was so touch starved. He was so alone. Why didn't anyone care? How didn't anyone notice? How, when his eyes screamed for help and wrists were raw with pain? Was he that invisible? Was he that unimportant?

"You're not." his reflection said, causing Thomas to look up with red eyes.

"You're not alone. You're not worthless. You're amazing. You make so many people happy. You deserve happiness. You'll make it through the storm." his reflection smiled. But Thomas could see through the lie. He could see the sadness leaking through the fake smile. He could see his eyes burning with pain, and the slight flame of hope that someone would notice and save him.

"How can you believe that? How do you know that?" Thomas whimpered.

His reflection gave another sad smile. "Because I know you."

Thomas snapped. (re-reading I read that as Thanos snapped lol)

"No you don't!" Thomas shrieked, turning to the mirror with wide, pleading eyes. "Because you don't see me when I hurt myself. You don't see me when the tears roll down my cheeks. You don't see me tearing at my hair. You don't see me screaming at myself, begging for the thoughts to stop, for everything to stop! So stop acting like you know me, because I don't even know myself! So just shut up!"

With that screaming reply, Thomas fell to the floor once again, tears rolling down his cheeks, arms red from scratching and hair frizzed. He hugged himself, trying to bring back the warm he once felt inside. He felt so alone. He was so alone. The silence was suffocating, his breaths getting sharper and ragged.

"Just shut up..." he whispered, closing his eyes and sobbing.

So, guess how ya author's feeling. Or, felt, a couple days ago. Pretty shit. Except I can't let it out screaming at my reflection bc I don't live by myself and my fam has no idea I want to die so... yea. Fun

COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOTE;
I swear those playable ads on here, (the ones that pop up after some chapters) are they just trying to annoy us at the sheer stupidity of the people playing the game so we get it to play it and do it right? ARE YOU COLOUR BLIND OR SOME SHIT?? THAT ISN'T GREEN THAT'S RED YOU TWAT!

Sorry, I just needed to get that off my chest lol. It was annoying

I'm chuckling rn lol wtf am I doing w my life

Ok, have a g'day people