Inside out

Tyrell

TYRELL

I got out of the car to clear my head. I had a lot going through my mind and I just needed to get my thoughts together.

I took out the box of cigarettes I had in my coat. I didn't always smoke unless I was just stressed out like I was.

I heard the car door open. "What are you doing?" That just made me sigh in exasperation.

"Fuck does it look like I'm doing?" I wasn't loud though, I was never really loud talking to her anyways.

"It's late and cold, we need to go home." That was loud and a little persuasive.

"I just want to clear up my head Chanelle, don't make this hard too." I realized that was a little rude the instance I said it and I could tell I was getting her annoyed.

"So you're saying I make everything hard yeah?"

"That's not what I meant, you're forcing words out of me." At this point I had no idea the fuck I was saying nor did I have any control over it.

"You're going to blame your fucked up choice of words on me?" She was vexed now and I had no clue what to say or do, so I took a lighter out of my coat, ready to light the stick of cigarette I had and just drown in the satisfaction I hoped it'll give to me. I heard her mumble a "No" when I was about to light the stick of cigarette I had. She snatched both the cigarette and lighter and tossed it as far as she could.

"The fuck was that for?" now that was surprisingly loud even to me.

"The fuck is your problem?" She yelled back at me like she's been meaning to do it all night. "Ryder, you do this everytime we have a fight. When it gets so shitty, you light up a fucking ass cigarettes to make it all go away, but no! It doesn't fucking work like that!" I don't know why, but I feared this wouldn't be just an ordinary fight.

"What else would you have me do? It's not like you fucking get me, all you do is yell day and night." I was just as vexed as she was at this moment.. saying things I really don't mean.

"You sound like a fucking bitch right now." She came off louder than I was and honestly, we have fought a lot in the past, but this one is the most scary.

"You need to stop calling me that"

"Bite me!" She dared. "Look, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but let's go home before you become an even bigger dick." There she goes again. "You think you're the only one who got problems?"

I inhaled the cold air deeply and exhaled, trying to calm myself down. "You just don't seem to get it do you?"

"Get what Ty? That you're being a total dick?"

"This is not how I planned for this marriage to go." I blurted out and that took her by surprise.

She didn't say anything for a second. "You think waiting up for you every single day is what I planned to do with my life?" This is what I keep saying.. she doesn't get it.

"I have duties okay.. I have things to do other than staying home with you." She has to accept this fact first if we want to go further in this marriage.

"You're screwed up in every fucking way." She sounded frustrated and really low for some reason.

"Fuck does that mean?"

"I don't want your whole day, I just want a little of your fucking time. Fit me in that fucking schedule of yours, that's all I ask."

"You're asking for too much." Well that shut her up.

"I don't think this is working out." She finally let out after several seconds.

"Not with that attitude it won't." By saying that, I was pretty much agreeing to end my marriage with her. I feel like I've said too much now, but that's a terrible habit of mine.. once I'm vexed I say the first thing that pops up on my mind.

She stared at me for a short while, her lips parted without saying a word, then she shook her head slowly. She was hurting, I could feel it, but I couldn't hold her. I kind of felt like I was glued to my spot. "Well if that's what you want.." I watched her pull on her wedding ring, she finally got it off after few seconds of pulling. "Here." She handed it to me with her eyes clouding up, I could tell she was trying her best to fight it. I wasn't sure what exactly was happening right now.

I wasn't really sure what to say.. she was at the edge of having a breakdown, so was I.. I was far from being coordinated at that moment.

I watched her get into the car and get her phone out. Was she about to text right now? I walked back to the car as well. "Let's go home."

"You're completely delusional if you think I'm getting into that car with you." She needs to make this hard too?

"What do you mean? I can't leave you here." I sounded persuasive.. but I saw that look in her eyes, that one that meant exactly what she said. "Please, let's not fight about this one too."

"I called a fucking Lyft, so don't bother.. I won't make this hard for you." She let out a tear. I sure as hell didn't want her like this. She looked vulnerable in every way and it was all my fault.

This is the saddest thing I've had to write.🥺
Thanks for reading guys.. please keep going and please don't forget to vote each chapter and follow me. ILY❤️❤️