Inside out

Chanelle

CHANELLE

I've had bad days in the past, but this was the worst. So much for Thanksgiving yeah? I was hurting in every way possible.. Did my marriage just end? Did I just lose Ty? Was he that sick of me?

I took a Lyft to Lena's house, I needed her now more than ever. Thanksgiving dinner was pretty much over by now.. besides she lives alone. I already paid through my credit card when I ordered, so when the car pulled up on her driveway, I just got out.

I walked to the entrance door and rang the doorbell. After the second push I gave the doorbell, I heard the doors unlock.

"Chan?" I heard her say when she saw me. She probably read my facial expression coz I watched her smile turn into a frown. She was quick to pull me in for a hug.

There I was, in the arms of my best friend. Sobbing like my cat just died. "It's okay baby, it's okay," Lena said as she stroked my hair.

We were out there in the cold for several seconds till I heard Dean and Carter's voices from behind. They were as shocked as Lena was to see me there, looking uncoordinated.. just great. It's almost midnight, why are they all here? Did we not have work tomorrow?

I pulled out of the tight embrace I was held in and walked inside. I sat on one of the couches in her living room. I sat there quiet.. I could tell they were all staring at me, but I couldn't get myself to say anything. Never in my life have I felt so shattered. I was in my best friend's house, crying like a teenager.

Carter handed me a cup of hot chocolate. I totally needed that right now, not just because I was cold as hell.. it was relaxing. I sniffed in and took a sip out of it hoping to calm myself down. I finally looked up at them. They were all staring at me just as I thought, I looked back down.

Lena sat right next to me, ready for anything I wanted her to do for me, they all were.. thank God I have these friends. "You okay?" she asked in all sympathy.

I didn't look her in the eyes to avoid further spilling from my damn eyes. I'm not used to having these emotions. I just looked down at the cup in my hands. I just nodded, I couldn't possibly ignore her.. besides after coming in here and having a total breakdown, I did feel like I had to talk to them. They were my closest friends anyways.

After some more sips of my hot chocolate, I put it down on the table closest to me.

"What's going on?" That was Dean's voice I heard.

I honestly didn't know what to say to that except.. "It's over."

"What?" They chorused. I didn't want to talk further, coz any explanation I give will lead to another breakdown.

"We'll give you some space to cool off." Dean said. I already felt my eyes tearing up again.

"We'll be here first thing tomorrow okay?" Carter added. They headed to the door and left. Wait, do we not have work tomorrow?

"Good thing tomorrow is Friday." Seems like she read my mind. We didn't work on Fridays and Sundays. "Let's go to your room." I heard her say. I got up and followed her upstairs. Before I got married, I came here so often she had to give me a room.

We both entered my room and sat on the bed. I didn't need anyone to tell me that I was a mess and I needed a shower.

Lena got up from the bed. "I'll get you new clothes to change into." I just nodded, nothing more. Something about my sadness.. the more I try to talk, the more I cry and I sure as hell didn't want another breakdown.

After a long shower, I came back to the room to see Lena there. I appreciate that she was there for me, although I couldn't show it. "Do you want me to stay with you?" She gave a slight smile.

"No, I'm fine." I tried to assure her the best I could that I was fine.

I heard her say "okay" as she got up from the bed. "Please text me if you need anything."

"I will." I promised. Then, I watched her leave. I took in a deep breath and laid flat on my bed. I'd be lying if I said I was sleepy. All I could do was think.. the fight replayed over and over in my head. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten out of the car.. maybe I should have been more supportive. Did I really not get him?

My thoughts were disorganized, so was I.. I finally let myself love and it all backfired, right in my face.

***
I got up the next day, not like I had much sleep anyways.. I literally cried myself to sleep and I got up really early too.. the sun has barely risen. Waking up to a possible divorce and a heartbreak is really not the best thing in the world.

I glanced over at the clock in the room.. it was barely 6:30am. I just laid there, moving my head from side to side at intervals. I couldn't stop thinking about last night.. he couldn't have possibly meant that, could he? Why does it hurt this bad? I can't take it...

This book is kind of coming to an end though.. please keep going guysss