Inside out

Tyrell

TYRELL

Sunday evening. I laid in bed which felt painfully empty.. that's pretty much all I've been doing since Thursday night. I was a total mess, I've not been to work, my phone has been switched off.. I was basically ghosting the whole world.

I was in complete silence till I heard the landline ring. For the love of God can I not be alone? I walked over to pick it up, ready to fire whoever that was.

"Good evening sir" oh my God. Millie did you really have to call?

"Why do you call?" I didn't sound rude or anything, I just wanted to know why she called, I told them not to call even if the fucking house was burning.

"Your sister came to see you." Urghh.. the fuck does Ginger want now? I was in no mood for her smart mouth right now.

"Send her up." I sure as hell wasn't going to go down there. I dropped the call and laid back on the bed, trying to prepare for the annoyance that was coming. I heard the door open and I knew it was Ginger coming in. "What do you want?" I groaned.

"Don't come at me with that dumb attitude." She barked right back and honestly, this was not the time. For the first time in my life.. I felt dead.. I had nothing much to live for anyways, I felt like I lost everything and it was all my fault.

"If you're just here to sass me, please leave." I didn't even look in her direction while saying that.. I had the lights in my room set to blue coz that explained exactly how I felt. I bet Ginger couldn't even see me properly.

She walked over to the switch and turned the white lights on, which was really hard on my eyes given that I've been in a dark room for three days.. what did Chanelle do to me? "What is it?" She didn't sound rude this time.. She sat next to me on the bed. I didn't give an answer to that..

I honestly couldn't. What was I going to say to her? That I let my love go away for no reason.. Even I know I'd sound like a total idiot.

She looked right at me now and noticed the bags under my eyes. I doubt I've slept up to eight hours these past days. "What have you done to yourself? Where is Chanelle?" She looked really worried now.

I inhaled deeply, ready for the insults I was about to receive. "I ended things with her. She definitely hates me now.. I let her go."

"You what? Are you crazy?" I actually was crazy.

I didn't say anything. Even I knew I was stupid for letting her go like that. I said a lot of nasty things to her, I don't know what'd be going through her mind now. "I messed up Gin. I don't think she'll ever forgive me."

She looked at me for a while with sympathy and perhaps understanding. "No wonder you've been ghosting. You didn't even attend your fashion show yesterday." She sighed. "Look remember when you were dating that silly girl Kenny?"

"Katie." I corrected. She really did not like any of my exes.

"Yeah whatever," she mumbled. "Katie and those other silly people you dated, I hated all of them.. coz boy they were fake, from their heads down to their feet, everything about them-"

"So your point is?" I cut her off, coz she was deviating a lot from the point.

"My point is Chanelle was nothing like them. I loved her the second I saw her, so if you're really going to let her go just like that then you're a douche."  I kind of really needed someone to talk to me and put me in check, but then again I had no clue how to face Chanelle. I hurt her way too much.