She wanted to die.
He wanted to live.
•••
A hand grabbed onto my wrist, yanking me back just as the train rushed past, before I'd even had time to comprehend whether or not I'd carry out the action. I stumbled back into the person's chest, my hear...
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"You shouldn't worry about me," I whispered softly, breaking his gaze with a sad smile.
"Why can't I?" he persisted, his intense gaze practically piercing through the side of my head. We were stood side by side, his body slightly angling towards mine while I faced the train tracks. "What's so wrong if I care about you Cassie?"
"Because..." the more people who care, the harder it will be for me to try again, "It'll be more difficult for me to keep my walls up if you care," I answered honestly, my eyes flitting up to his, "And if I let my guard down, I'll be happy. If I'm happy, I'll end up hurt."
All good things come to an end, and the empathy of the stranger was no exception.
"Give me a chance to at least prove you wrong," he pleaded, tugging on his hood as he sighed, "I know you think that things won't ever get better, but please, just for one night, allow yourself to be happy. Stop focusing on surviving for once, and allow yourself to actually live."
He gazed intently at me, a single look from him able to silence the myriads of doubts I had been seconds away from voicing. I had never thought it was truly possible to get lost in someone's eyes, but Romeo seemed to have a way of captivating me against my better judgement.
He saw me, really saw me, all the broken pieces and missing parts reflected within his own onyx orbs as I held his gaze, chocolate pools of compassion with swirls of empathy and care unlike any other. Intense and piercing, yet mellow and kind, a simply beautiful paradox within his eyes that reeled me in and left me completely mesmerised.
And it terrified me.
For a second he made me think that mental stability was achievable, and that one day I might actually obtain true happiness. I didn't even simply just get lost in his eyes: I found a path within them, leading me to a future I'd given up hope on ever reaching.
But was he being realistic, or selling me false dreams?
"I don't know if I can do it Romeo... I don't know if I can." I taught myself how to be strong – how to survive – and that robbed me of experiences crucial to any childhood. "I run away from things, not try and solve them. That's why I push people away, why I push happiness away, because I'd rather avoid the things I know I need than face them. It's who I am, and I don't think I'll ever change."
"What happened Cassie?" he sighed, slightly astounded at my words, "What happened that hurt you so badly it's made you afraid of being happy?"
"Life happened."
He shot me a blank look, wordlessly telling me to answer the question in more detail.
"The past is something I'd rather not think about," I started, breaking his gaze as I looked out into the night, watching as the dark blues blended together in the sky. "Because it reminds me of how much everything's fallen apart." I had to watch as the foundations of my perfect childhood were shattered, and now I've been living amongst the debris ever since.
