She wanted to die.
He wanted to live.
•••
A hand grabbed onto my wrist, yanking me back just as the train rushed past, before I'd even had time to comprehend whether or not I'd carry out the action. I stumbled back into the person's chest, my hear...
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I'd never been one to let people see me at my worst.
I didn't want Romeo to see me break down, or see me recover from the aftermath of an extreme nightmare, but in the moment I had barely been in control of my own actions, let alone had the consciousness to remove him from the situation. It was only when I'd stopped hysterically crying and regained my rational senses that I realised I'd let him in way too easily. He'd seen a piece of me that no one had ever accessed before, watching over me at my darkest moment.
And that completely mortified me.
I was quite literally a mess: my eyes were no doubt puffy and red from crying, my throat resembled a frog as I had croaked out my words, and my appearance was unruly since my curls were matted with my tears and the tips were beginning to frizz up already. As much as I was grateful for him being here, I hated that he was seeing me like this:
Weak. Broken. Hollow.
Confiding in people only gave them an opportunity to hurt you. Letting down your guard only gave people the perfect opportunity to attack, and no matter how much you thought they would have your back, they would be the same ones stabbing a knife into it. Call me cynical, but thinking like that just saved me from getting hurt, which is why all the warning sirens had been blaring at full volume within my mind for the past couple of minutes as I'd let Romeo comfort me. Theo was pretty much the only person I trusted, and even then I was still emotionally withdrawn from him.
Never in my life had I ever cried in someone's arms before, or had someone witness a suicidal episode and prolonged panic attack. His comforting words and soothing support had managed to bring me back up from such a low, and if not for him being there I dreaded to think what would have happened. But I was depending on Romeo without even realising it, and all this would only hurt more when the night was over. Initially, I had thought tonight would be the end between me and him, but it couldn't be anymore. Not after that.
But would we stay in contact? Never see each other again? Forget this night even happened and move on?
What was most surprising to me was that he hadn't left. He stayed throughout my nightmare, he stayed through my manic state of mind and extensive panic attack, he stayed through my second suicide attempt of the night even though I had mentally - and physically - been pushing him away, and he still stayed now as we held each other, stood on the empty platform while the severity of the prior moments truly sunk in.
"Cassie?" Romeo called my name, grabbing my attention as my eyes flicked up to his dark onyx ones. I blinked a few times, shaking off the memory of his cold gaze and reminding myself it was only a dream. "Do you want to talk about it? About what happened?"
I stepped out of his hold as I cast my eyes down, shaking my head profusely in a futile attempt to block out the images that began to resurface. His hands around my neck, the sound of heavy breathing mixed in with my own frantic breaths, the palpitations of my heart and my hysterical sobbing before he-
