She wanted to die.
He wanted to live.
•••
A hand grabbed onto my wrist, yanking me back just as the train rushed past, before I'd even had time to comprehend whether or not I'd carry out the action. I stumbled back into the person's chest, my hear...
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Watching the world from high up felt like I had temporarily transcended from earth.
It was as though time stopped ticking while I sat suspended on the metal railing, watching the harmony of hues mix in the sky as the miniature people down on the ground hurried to and fro, so caught up in the everyday rush of commuting to pay attention to the masterpiece up above them. They kept their heads down, buried into newspapers or phones or just staring mindlessly at the ground, instead of glancing up and appreciating the evanescent performance the sun was putting on.
Seeing them all so consumed in their lives made me feel as though I wasn't even there with them, like I had passed on from this world and was watching it spin on without me, seeing all the stress and routine I'd got to leave behind. Although at the same time as feeling like I wasn't on earth, I was very aware of the fact that I was, and everything I witnessed was felt more intensely due to my unique perspective. It was an odd feeling, a paradoxical and freeing feeling to be high up, really high up, but I loved it.
Heights made me feel like I was truly alive again - like I was me again.
Romeo wasn't wrong when he said he would help me find who I was again. I knew the only reason he was even stood here with me tonight was not only because he thought I would fall, but because he was doing what he said he would and helping me rediscover myself. Out here in the early morning air, as the cool October wind breezed past us, I finally felt like I had seen a glimpse of who I could be once I learned to let go of all my pain and stopped letting it define me.
I could be Cassie: the girl who feels most at home when she's tens of metres up in the air and travels around the country by night, the girl with hazel eyes and untameable curly hair, the girl who loved watching the stars and writing under the moonlight, the girl who was learning to be okay.
The exhilaration coursing through my veins and the low rumble of the mounting city traffic alongside the quietness of our altitude was like a recipe for serenity; which when combined with the security of Romeo's arms wrapped around me was enough to fix a permanent smile across my face. I'd already felt hope earlier tonight, but for once it finally felt achievable: up here with no one else as the rising sun shined down on us, it truly felt like happiness was an attainable prospect. No doubt it would require months or years to acquire, but it didn't feel like an optimistic aim to not live in the darkness anymore - it felt realistic.
"How long do we have to stay out here?" Romeo mumbled into my back, the vibrations of his words sending tingles down my spine. His hold around my waist seemed to tighten while he spoke, as though acknowledging how high up we were served as an unwanted reminder of our level. His hands were still slightly shaking as they held onto me, mini ripples across my jumper which I seemed to soothe by placing a hand over one of his, intertwining our fingers together.
"Forever would be nice," I sighed, speaking mindlessly as I felt him lift his head up from my back and take a step to the side so I could tilt my head to look at him. His gaze flitted over to mine as his arms slipped into a looser hold around my waist, the corners of his pale blue lips tilting into a smile as the reflection of the pink sky mirrored onto the dark brown backdrop of his eyes.
