Healing Him || P.JM ✔

Chapter 20

A/N: Already chapter 20 🥰. The story is not big, but i enjoy writting for those you read it. Thank you.

Did y'all miss Maze ?

Enjoy,vote, comments

Jimin's pov

After dropping Jackson at home. Me and Christian were heading home, Christian fall asleep in the car so it was quiet but it was not uncomfortable. It was peaceful hearing his little snore, i can tell he was really tired at least both of us are.

I finally reach home, i stop the car. I take the sleepy Christian to his bedroom, i try to not wake up him since tomorrow he has school and it was pretty late. I take his jacket, pants and shoes off to let him sleep comfortably, i put over him his blancket. I watch him one more time making sure he was alright and walk toward the door when i hear his sleepy voice calling me.

"Dad ?"

I turn around and see him sit down on his bed. He looks a little bit panicked i frown a bit, i walk toward his bed again and sit down to his not so darker room.

"What is it son ?"

I asked my voice as calm as possible.

Maybe i woke up him.

"I-i had a strange dream" He said in a whisper, put his arms around me. He was scared.  "What did you dream about ?"

"I-i " He said and stop, i was confused he looked so peaceful when he was asleep. I shush him trying to calm him down, i could tell he was nervous maybe it was just a nightmare.

"Calm down Chris, hmm. Tell me, you know you can tell me anything" I said looking at his eyes, he nods. "I dream about... mom she was in my dream"

I froze for a moment, it was not what i expected but quickly shrugg off to not make him worry. He stare at me so intensely try to figure it out my reaction, i clear my throat.

"Was it a bad dream or a good one ?"

"A good one... i guess"  I smile at that even if i think about his mother a lot i don't have the chance to dream about her.

"Then why you looked panicked ?" I ask him.

"Because she was sad, i wanted to show her something but she couldn't hear me and when i wanted to touch her, she was getting farther and farther away from me. I couldn't reach her and i woke up" I hug him tight.  "Mom was running away from me dad"  I feel my eyes get teary at my son statement why did he have to dream about this ?

"Chris, your mom would never run away from you she loves you okay?"

He nods and i see the sadness in his eyes. His eyes who always have happiness and innocence look like all his world fall appart. I am in pain watching my son like this, i always did everything for him to always not be surrended by the death of his mother. But what i can do when the pain take place on his dreams.

I wipe the tears away when i see them coming down, i don't want to see tears in my son eyes. Christian burry his head on my chest, he wasn't crying no more, just hug me tightly while breathing heavely.

I play with his hair and he calm down. he must have been scared, that's why he call me panicked he needed my presence. He was so young when all this happen but he still remember his mother. I take a quick glance at the picture he had of her next to his bed, i sigh suddenly missing her what she would do if she were in my place ?

"You know Christian, it's your mom who choose your name "

I hear him sniff and let me see his face. I take time to look at him his features he looks just like his mother, his round eyes, his nose, chubby cheeks. People would say that he look like me because he had my facial structure but if you look really at him. All his facial expression and feature come from his mother. I would say he is a perfect mix of the two of us.

"I know that already dad"

Chris said and blink a few times to focus on him, i smile and push his hair away from his face that's makes me think that he needs a new haircut.

"I know that you know, but do you know the exact story"

He stare at me weirdly, i take that as a no shift on his bed and speak softly.

"When i was young, i name myself Chris as a nickname. My friends always tag me as Chris when they take picture or when i dance" I said smiling reminding memories of the past.  "Why did you called yourself Chris ?"

"I don't know, i thought this name sounds upper-class. At first it was just a game with my friends. But when your mom knew about it, she makes fun of me saying stuff like it's stupid and that it doesn't suit me "

I chuckle when i remember of her calling me Chris after we finish practice just to make me chase her and tickle her. Because i knew she just call me that to mock me. I look at Christian when i notice my gaze was on the picture of Chung-ae, Christian was smiling at me.

"And then, when you were born she was the one who choose to call you Christian because she wanted that your name have my nickname on it. She choose the name Christian, so you could have a name who start like hers and have a memory of me that she like it"

I said looking at Christian who look at me in awe by what i tell him. "Because you are a part of us son. Even if your mother is not with you anymore, she will always always live and be with you here" I point at his heart.

"And she'll always love you Chris" He smiles a sad one but i can see that he feel better now.

"Your not mad?" I cock my head to the side in confusion.

"Why?"

I asked him.

He look down.  "Because... because i mention mom" I frown still confused.

"Why do you think i'll be mad if you mention your mom ?"

"Because... i know you don't like talking about her much "

I don't know what to say i just stare at my son.

"You always become angry or become sad when someone talk about mom"

I felt guilty that my son doesn't dare talk about his mother because he apprehends my reaction.
I sigh feeling mad at myself suddenly i though about Natasha told me.

He knows what day is it, you need to be by his side in a certain way he suffer too

"Christian, im sorry if you feel like you can't talk to me about your mother.... i'm really am. It's just that the topic is still hard for me but if you want to talk to me about it don't feel scared to come to me, alright ?"  He hug and i hug him back.  "I love you so much Christian, you know that right ?"

"I know. I love you dad"  I let go of him and he stare at me not sad anymore, i feel relieved at that.

"Alright now you need to go back to sleep, tomorrow is school" I said getting up of his bed he lay down.

"Good night dad" He said to me and close his eyes. "Good night Christian"

I said and leave his bedroom. I went downstairs check if the door is lock then go to the kitchen, i open the fridge i take a beer go to the living room i sit lazy on the couch and sigh deeply at the strange no, more weird day i have today i look at the clock and see it's soon midnight.

I drink my beer and hiss a little because of the pain on my hands i actually don't mind the pain, i deserve it so i welcome the pain.
I though about Christian i planned on doing something with him, just the two of us i want him to feel comfortable to express his feelings.

It was so weird to talk about Chung-ae again like this it was carefree, maybe Christian need that, he needs me to talk about how his mother was so he needs to know things about her that only me can know. I know with Natasha they talk about her, but with me its different because i am the husband and father here.

I can help but though that it's because of a certain woman that im more open up about Chung-ae. Like i never mention her that much before and now that she come to my life she try to makes me face my fear if we can say it like that. Maze Williams this woman have done more things for me in a short time than nobody did. A small smile place in my face and without realising i fall asleep.